WWE Wrestlemania 29 & Raw the Next Night
I went into my last Wrestlemania review expecting crap, and came out pleasantly surprised for the most part. I left this to the spin of a wheel again, and of course, in an ounce of bad luck it landed on Wrestlemania 29. This one still leaves a bad taste in my mouth for it's main event, and aside from that and Taker vs Punk I don't remember anything from this show. So, let's just get into it.
Our opening video package brings up Hurricane Sandy and it's destruction, as well as the rebuilding and footage of the rebuilding and recovery, all narrated by Gov. Chris Christie.
We're live from MetLife Stadium in East Rutherford, New Jersey, not the heart of New York as Cole blurts out. The New Jersey National Guard have come out on the stage waving American flags, before we go to another video package, highlighting past Mania's and tonight's matches. We don't waste much time getting to our first match.
Sheamus, Randy Orton & The Big Show vs The Shield
Pre-Match Notes & Thoughts: Michael Cole, JBL and the King are doing commentary for tonight's show.
Sheamus, Show and Orton manage to keep things together for the most part until Show stops a Shield Bomb with a spear. Sheamus crawls desperately to tag Show but Orton tags himself in and takes care of Ambrose. Orton calls for an RKO on Ambrose, but nails one mid-air on Rollins as he launches off the corner from behind before Reigns nails a spear. Amrose crawls on top while Show looks on doing nothing and Sheamus comes to to get the win in 10:30. Not a bad way to start the show.
We go to replays as Show looks on from the apron and Shield leave through the crowd. As Orton comes to, Show enters the ring and they argue. Sheamus enters and gets a Knockout Punch, then one for Orton. Show leaves to a meh reaction from the crowd and a replay of the punches. Shield still undefeated in their Mania debut. Commentary goes on to hype the main event along with a video package. Sigh, skip.
We see Snooki in the crowd before our next match.
Mark Henry vs Ryback
Pre-Match Notes & Thoughts: We see footage from Smackdown of a Bench Press Challenge where Mark would talk advantage to choke the life out of Ryback with the bar.
Henry and Ryback start by slamming into each other a couple times, then trade some right hands. Crowd is fully behind Henry in this one. Henry wastes no time nailing a running powerslam into a pin attempt by Ryback kicks out. Ryback into the ropes but cuts ff Henry and attempts a suplex, but lifts Ryback to the apron instead, before sending him into the ringpost, then a clothesline sending Ryback to the floor.
Ryback's back in and Henry's on the attakck, forearms to the small of the back and then a bearhug. Ryback tries for the ropes but Henry drives him into the corner.. Ryback sent over the ropes to the outside with a clothesline as the ref starts his count. Ryback just barely gets in for the 10 count and Henry goes after. Ryback tries to fight back but Henry locks in the bearhug again. Ryback manages to fight his way out, only to be scoop slammed and another bearhug.
Ryback gets some right hands and drives Henry into the corner, shoulders into the ribs and a clothesline. then nails the Meathook Clothesline. Ryback tries to lift Henry for the Shellshock but Henry fights out with elbows, falling on top of Ryback. Henry rolls Ryback over to get the win in 8:02. Not a great match and went a bit too long.
We go to replays as Henry goes to leave and doctors check on Ryback. Henry comes back in and scares off the doctors and bullies the ref. Ryback nails a spinebuster and nails the Shellshock, which managed to actually get a pop out of the crowd. We get more replays of what just happened now, and Ryback leads a "Feed Me More" chant.
Commentary plug some weird ass action figures, and announce WWE's partnership with the Special Olympics, followed by a video package. Lilian introduces the members of that year's game and a couple athletes, alongside Stephanie and Chris Christie.
Onto our first title match of the night.
WWE Tag Team Championship: Team Hell No (c) vs Dolph Ziggler (Mr. Money in the Bank) & Big E Langston (w/ AJ Lee)
Pre-Match Notes & Thoughts: Ah the days when Big E still had a last name. We see footage from Raw of Big E taking out Kane and Bryan, powering his way out of a chokeslam from Kane.
Dolph sticks it to Bryan by getting a good luck kiss from AJ, only for Bryan to kick him in the head and go for a pin immediately. He tries to apply the Yes(No?) Lock but Ziggles escapes the ring. Bryan with his kicks on Ziggler int he ring and he desperately tags in Big E. Bryan tags in Kane.
Kane with some right hands and off the ropes but E picks him up, driving Kane back first into his knee.Shoulder charge in the corner, then another but eats a boot from Kane. Kane goes for the chokeslam but E powers out, off the ropes chest first into Kane. Ziggler in now with some offense and a pin, but Kane kicks out.
E back in, keeping the offense with right hands to the guts, Kane off the ropes and catches E with a DDT.. Ziggler tagged in and sends Bryan off the apron. Kane back up with a flurry of offense and a sidewalk slam for a near fall. Kane goes up top and misses a clothesline. Ziggler hits the Fame Asser for a pin, but Bryan breaks it up. Ziggler with a dropkick sends Bryan out then goes up top, but Kane nails a right hand, followed by a cover but E lands a splash. Kane hoisted up for a Big Ending but Kane tosses him out. Bryan off the apron with a knee, and Ziggler nails a Zig Zag on Kane, but Kane kicks out, the crowd way too early counting the pin.
AJ slides Ziggler the briefcase while she distracts the referee, but Kane ducks the shot and nails a big boot. Kane nails the chokeslam and tags in Bryan who climbs to the top rope. Kane knocks E off the apron before Bryan nails the diving headbutt to retain the titles in 6:18. Fairly decent match, but it was obvious they were trying to cram in as much action in what little time they had, felt a bit rushed.
The champs celebrate as Ziggler and E retreat, then go to replays. Bryan gets a yes chant going before him and Kane leave the ring.
Fandango vs Chris Jericho
Pre-Match Notes & Thoughts: The show oddly fades to black after that and goes to a crowd shot, into Fandango's entrance, flanked by several dancers to a lukewarm crowd reaction. To be fair, this was the night before Fandango-ing became a thing. This all started when Jericho purposefully mispronounced his name several times, as the video package shows. We also see Jericho get attacked after a win over Cesaro. Jericho gets a Jericho pop and fireworks as e comes out. Fandango making his in-ring debut in this match.
A nice match, pretty back and forth for the most part, although they sure made no effort to protect Dango's top rope leg drop finisher, since Chris kicked out of it in the closing moments. Fandango goes for the leg drop again but Chris takes him down, hoisting him to the top rope for a superplex but Dango fights out, missing a leg drop. Jericho goes for the lionsault, but Dango gets the knees up, but Chris catches them to go for the Walls. They botch up the inside cradle here, but in the end Dango gets the three in 9:12.
Dango stumbles out and celebrates with his dancer as they head up the ramp and go to replays. Commentary try to cover up the finish saying Chris had tweaked his knee, but it didn't really work. Then we see footage from the pre-show, where Miz beat Wade Barrett for the IC Title with a figure 4.
Another hype package for the main event, then P-Diddy comes out for a performance, then Skylar Grey to join him.
After all that, we get a video package, highlighting Swagger and Zeb Coulter's gimmick to this point. I forgot howw wacky and entertaining this was. Swagger won an Elimination Chamber Match to earn this title shot tonight, setting out to reclaim America with this title win. Del Rio than talks about the Statue of Liberty, saying America is where everything is possible, and he's living proof. He won his title against Big Show on an episode of Smacldown.
World Heavyweight Championship: Alberto del Rio (c) vs Jack Swagger (w/ Zeb Coulter)
Pre-Match Notes & Thoughts: I didn't think jobber entrances were possible at Wrestlemania, and yet after the video package, Zeb and Jack are already in the ring with their music playing. Zeb's got a mic and says him and Swagger are real Americans. He says he walked the filthy streets of New York this past week, and asks when they let "them" take over. He says New York was once described as a beacon of American prosperity, but now it isn't worth the beads they paid for it, calling it a cesspool of criminals, illegals that snuck across the borders, speak Spanish, Italian, Greek and Chinese, and something called Yiddish, as they plot God knows what against them. He tells the crowd they can boo him all they want, but that they know they agree with him, either too afraid to say something or too gutless to do anything about it, unlike real Americans. He says Swagger will reclaim this country as he walks out champion. He says remember the words "We the People" before Ricardo comes out on crutches to introduce Del Rio.
Swagger and Del Rio spend the match setting up for their respective submissions. You know the crowd are into this when they're chanting "We Want Ziggler". In all fairness, it isn't that bad a match. Not the most exciting, but also not horrible. Swagger goes to grapevine the leg while applying the Patriot Lock, but Del Rio turns it into the Cross Armbreaker, then back into the Patrriot Lock and Del Rio gets to the rope.Swagger gets a kick to the head as he tries for the gutwrench. Enziguri in the corner and a pin, but Zeb puts Swagger's foot on the rope. Ricardo comes over but Zeb kicks his crutch out. Del Rio goes after him with a crutch but Swagger gets him from behind, throwing him into the barricade.
Back in the ring, Del Rio locks in the Cross Armbreaker out of nowhere and retains the championship in 10:31.
Zeb looks on pissed with his curly moustache, Del Rio celebrates as the real Americans leave up the ramp, then the replays. We get a glimpse of Michael Strahan in the crowd happy for Del Rio, and everyone else just doesn't care.
We get a video package of WWE's partnership with the National Guard. Justin Roberts gives a special welcome to the armed forces in the building for tonight's show.
Our next video package, from the passing of Paul Bearer to Punk and Heyman's disrespect of him and Taker., even going so far as to spill his "ashes" on Taker, to Bearer Heyman dressing as Bearer with druids lined up the ramp.
CM Punk (w/ Paul Heyman) vs The Undertaker
Pre-Match Notes & Thoughts: Before our match we have a fantastic performance by Living Color to play Punk tot he ring. Heyman with urn in hand.
Punk's time is spent trying to piss Taker of enough for a DQ, or to get Taker counted out, seeing as he doesn't need to pin or submit Taker to end the streak. Taker spends his time dealing out punishment for the week's of disrespect. Early in the match Taker takes apart the Spanish announce table before ramming Punk back first into the ring post. Dueling CM Punk/Undertaker chants as Taker sets up and nails his patented apron leg drop.
Back in the ring with right hands in the corner to the face and midsection, Chioda warning Taker constantly about getting DQ'd while Taker scares him off. Taker goes for Old School but Punk takes him down with an arm drag. Punk now with stomps on Taker's head and chest, and now he goes up top and nails Old School, then a side Russian leg sweep into a cover, and a near all.
Taker fights out of a rest hold and delivers right hands in the corner, whipping Punk into the opposite one, and Taker misses a knee, colliding with the top turnbuckle. Taker rolls outside and Punkgoes up top to nail an ax handle. Back in the ring for a neckbreaker and a cover, for a near fall. Punk works the shoulder before Taker with some right hands, until Punk counters with a swinging neckbreaker and a near fall.
Taker fights his way out of a rear chinlock into a suplex, Punk in the corner nailing a boot on Taker. He goes for Old School again but gets crotched on the top rope, then knocked to the outside Taker off the opposite ropes and Heyman climbs on the apron, Taker goes to chokeslam him but Punk comes off the ropes with a springboard forearm and hooks the leg for 2. Taker up to his feet in the corner as Punk nails the running knee and a clothesline, followed by a top rope elbow drop, hook of the leg and another near fall. Punk goes for the GTS but Taker catches him for a chokeslam, but Punk kicks out of a pin attempt.
Back and forth right hands, Taker knocks Punk down. Right hands in the corner, Punk whipped to the opposite corner and a clothesline, whipped back to the other corner followed with a Snake Eyes, but Punk hits a heel kick as Taker comes off the ropes, followed by another near fall. Dueling Taker/Punk chants as they get up, Punk clotheslining Taker to the outside. Punk finishes clearing off the announce table, then gets caught with a right hand, then a headbutt. Taker goes for a Last Ride, but Punk slips out and nails a kick to the side of the head, sending Taker backwards onto the table. Punk climbs to the top rope and delivers an elbow, bouncing off of Taker as he rolls off the table, not breaking under them.
Punk manages to get back in, but he's clutching at his knee, having collided with the table edge. Taker just barely makes it back in before the 10 count. Punk goes to make a cover but Taker gets him in the Hell's Gate, rolling over to turn it into a roll up for a near fall. Punk applies the Anaconda Vice, Taker goes down and gets counted for a pin, but sits up at two and a half, locking eyes with Punk scaring him shitless. Taker stands them back up and gets Punk by the throat for a chokeslam, but Punk slips out. Punk nails the GTS on Taker, who bounces off the ropes and catches Punk, nailing a tombstone. Taker goes for the pin but Punk kicks out.
Taker and Punk to their knees, trading right hands, back on their feet with more right hands and forearms. Taker sends Punk off the ropes and gets him for a chokeslam. Punk knocks the ref down and Heyman comes up for a distraction, knocking Taker into the corner before clutching the knee. Running knee but Taker catches him, setting up for the Last Ride. Heyman hands Punk the urn and nails Taker in the head as he's lifted up. Punk mocks Taker with his pin but Taker kicks out.
Punk with Taker's throat cut taunt and gets him up for the GTS but Taker fights out, going for a Tombstone, but Punk flips out and goes for the GTS again, only for Taker to slip out and nails the Tombstone to win the match in 22:08, making him 21-0 at Wrestlemania. Easily match of the night.
Taker exits the ring and takes back his urn before we go to replays. Punk and Heyman have left as Taker goes back in the ring to pose as fireworks go off. Taker takes his slow walk to the back with urn in hand, fire spitting up from the stage, Taker raising his arm as for our last shot.
We get an ad for Foley's "For All Mankind" DVD, before we get yet another video package ahead of our main event, and we still have another match before that. We see Michelle Beadle in the crowd, then a video package for our next match. Of course this started when Brock broke HHH's arm on Raw not long after his match with Cena. He'd beat HHH at Summerslam and broke his arm, then would go on to F5 Vince to set HHH off again. HHH would challenge Brock to a match, and Lesnar agrees on the condition that it's No Holds Barred, and that HHH's career be on the line. Wow, this is an odd parallel to this year's Mania.
No Holds Barred Match: Triple H (w/ Shawn Michaels) vs Brock Lesnar (w/ Paul Heyman)
Pre-Match Notes & Thoughts: Shawn gets his own entrance to get things started, and for some reason, Brock and Heyman next instead of HHH. HHH gets a skull entrance set u, and he's clearly burned by dry ice as he goes through. I forgot that happened. Also, there's about 20 minutes that pass between the end bell of the last match, and the start bell of this match.
Right hands back and forth to start this out, Lesnar gets some knees to the midsection before they tumble to the outside. Lesnar whipped into the barricade, face first off the barricade, then the announce table. Right hands into the forehead of Lesnar now, then Brock sends HHH kidney first into the apron. HHH sent over the barricade and Lesnar grabs a chair, following HHH over until he gets clotheslined back over to the floor. Clubbing forearms to the back before going back to the ring, Lesnar with chair in hand.
HHH gets a high knee as Lesnar comes in, and Taker takes the chair out before HHH can get to it. Lesnar thrown back out of the ring and HHH follows, caught with a right hand to the midsection. Lesnar sent face first off the steps, HHH goes to whip him but Lesnar catches him with a belly to belly to the floor. Lesnar launched face first off the announce table now, then suplexed from the floor through the Spanish announce tablee, followed by one of Brock's primal screams. Lesnar with a knee to the midsection, then a belly to belly onto the collapsed announce table, Lesnar laughing as he sits on the floor. Lesnar with another primal scream before dragging HHH across the floor and scaring Michaels off before going back to the ring.
Lesnar with more kicks and right hands in the corner to the head and midsection, HHH sent off the ropes and catches Lesnar with facebuster, but taken down with a clothesline. Lesnar hooks the leg for a near fall. Back in the corner, more shots to the midsection as HHH tries to fight back, whipped into the opposite corner and gets his feet up, only to get another belly to belly. Lesnar hooks the leg again for the near fall.
Lesnar taunts Shawn and although HHH tries to fight out, Lesnar hits a German suplex, hooks the leg again and another near fall. Another German suplex and a cover for a near fall. Back in the corner, HHH gets some kicks in and then some right hands in the corner, goes to whip Lesnar but gets whipped back in the corner, sent over the ropes to the outside. Lesnar follows and gets distracted going after Shawn, and HHH takes advantage with a clothesline. Right hands and a clothesline over into the timekeeper's area.
Lesnar face first off the announce table and HHH grabs a chair, cracking it over Lesnar's back. Back in the ring, HHH goes for a clothesline but Lesnar nails another German with a bridge for a near fall. Shawn gets on the apron only to get knocked off by Lesnar, allowing HHH to nail the spinebuster. HHH goes for the Pedigree but Lesnar gets him up for the F5. HHH grabs the ropes and Shawn comes in to try and hit Sweet Chin Music, only for Lesnar to catch and hit an F5 on Michaels. HHH takes advantage and hits the Pedigree, hooks the leg but Lesnar kicks out.
HHH exits the ring and gets his sledgehammer from under the ring, but Lesnar gets him up and nails the F5, hooks the leg but HHH kicks out. Lesnar has a cut on his bottom lip while HHH rolls out, Lesnar follows. Lesnar now with the chair and cracks HHH across the back with it, then whips him into the steps shoulder first. Lesnar grabs the top half and bounces them off the head of HHH. Lesnar grabs the bottom half now and tosses them into the ring, rolling himself and HHH back in.
Lesnar picks up the steps now and bounces them off the shoulder, then hooks the leg for another near fall. HHH slaps Lesnar as he taunts him, then some right hands, goes for a Pedigree but Lesnar locks in the Kimura. HHH rams Lesnar into the corner to break the hold a moment, but Lesnar locks it back in. Lesnar rammed into the corner again and locks the Kimura in a third time. Lesnar with knees to the midsection and locks it in a fourth time, now perched atop the top rope as he does. HHH pulls out of the corner and breaks it again slamming Lesnar to the mat.
Lesnar runs at HHH in the corner but goes shoulder first into the post, HHH follows with a low blow. HHH pulls Lesnar to the ring post and slams his arm into it. HHH goes and grabs another chair by the timekeeper, sandwiching Lesnar's arm with it and the ring post. Lesnar resting atop the steps in the match and HHH with the chair to the arm again. Now HHH with a Kimura of his own, Brock collapses, Heyman comes in and grabs the chair to break it up, but Shawn intercepts with Sweet Chin Music. Lesnar manages to fight back to his feet and slam HHH back first onto the steps to break the hold. HHH locks it back in, but Lesnar back up and slams HHH down again. HHH again with the Kimura and as Lesnar goes to lift him again, HHH turns it into a DDT onto the steps.
HHH grabs the sledgehammer and nails Brock in the head successfully this time. HHH pulls Brock atop the steps and nails the Pedigree to win the match in 24 minutes. This match wasn't too bad all things considering. It did get a bit repetitive in the first match with Brock's suplexes, but the match managed to pick up.
Shawn enters the ring and helps HHH up as he celebrates and hugs Shawn, and we go to replays. HHH poses atop the steps with the sledgehammer and tells Brock to suck it, posing one more time before leaving the ring with Shawn.
We get a recap of the previous night's Hall of Fame, a class which had Mick Foley, Trish Stratus, Bob Backlund, Booker T, Donald Trump (sigh), and the late Bruno Sammartino. Fink is out to present the 2013 class. They do not like Trump.
We get an ad for Wrestlemania 30 from New Orleans. Justin Roberts announces the attendance record of 80, 676, but they've really only got an attendance of about 68, 900.
Now it's time for the main event. I'm gonna do what I can to keep an open mind, after time has passed, but I'm not counting on much here.
WWE Championship: John Cena vs The Rock (c)
Pre-Match Notes & Thoughts: Cena out without a fancy entrance. Crowd has no love for Cena and Rock gets a nice pop as he comes out. Commentary are oddly silent until the introductions are over.
Well this match still sucks 6 years later. It probably doesn't help Rock gets injured about 15 minutes, in and misses Raw the next night as a result. By this point, we should all know how this ends. Cena wins the title with an AA in 23:59.
We get replays before Rock and Cena shake hands and hugs, before Rock's music hits and Cena leaves. Rock stands there several moments, mouthing thank you to the fans who give him some love. Rock leaves the ring and hugs his family at ringside before heading up the ramp, Cena raises his arm and pyro goes off, and the crowd shits all over it.
OVERALL THOUGHTS
Honestly this show wasn't as bad as I remembered. It probably helps that it's been 6 years after the fact, and everything surrounding the show at the time is gone, but setting aside that main event, the Ryback/Henry match and the botched Jericho/Fandango ending, I enjoyed this show. With a run time of 3:46:44, there was a total of 1:54:40 of bell to bell wrestling. That's almost 2 hours of time filler, main event video packages, entrances and whatever else. Yikes.
With that, let's get to the next night on Raw, shall we?
RAW
We go right to the arena, live from the Izod Center in East Rutherford, New Jersey as commentary introduce us to the show, then we go to stills of the show.... well, the main event, and the crowd craps all over Cena and Rocks embrace at the end.
Of course, Cena is out to start things out, and the reaction isn't fully complete boos to start, until Cena appears on the stage, then the boos become almost deafening. Cole brings up Rock's injuries, Cena with his usual smugness as the crowd boos him on. Cena says it should be everyone's dream to be in the Wrestlemania main event, because when you win it, you get to enjoy everything that comes along with it: the adulation (boooooooooo), the respect (booooooooooo), the cheers (boooooo!!!)... the cheers? (boooooooooo!!!).... the cheers? (boooo!!!). He says they've known each other for ten years, him and the fans. There's an off sync let's go Cena/Cena sucks chant, Cena says they seem angry. More boos. He's upset too, Mania's over, that's why they're upset, but WWE isn't like the day after Christmas, it's the Raw after Mania. It doesn't matter how they feel about him, everybody sitting there... (boring!). He says amazingly, every Raw after every Wrestlemania is more than boring, bringing up Lesnar's return last year and the asskicking he gave Cena (wooo!). He says he's feeling pretty good tonight, there's a volatile crowd and he might do a championship dance tonight (booooooooo). It might have a little shake, or a kick (no! no! no!), or how about a little heel turn (yay). Cena says that like Ric Flair once said, to beat the man, you gotta beat the man (woooo!) and last night, with the world watching, the main event of Wrestlemania, two titans clashed, bodies were on the line and even Rock got hurt, but out of that, a champion rose (boooooo!), so he proudly says the champ is here. Crowd starts a same old shit chant, saying this is exactly what he wanted for a celebration, saying right now is his post-Mania celebration. He's gonna celebrate the only way he knows how, that he's fighting tonight for his title, which the crowd kinda cheers for. He doesn't know who the #1 contender is, he doesn't care if it's Ziggler, Randy Orton, CM Punk, and gets interrupted by Mark Henry.
Mark says the problem with coming out looking for trouble is that trouble might just find you. He says Cena won his match last night, and the crowd start a loud Sexual Chocolate chant, and Cena responds saying they want to have sex with chocolate, then a yes chant. Really? Henry says he destroyed Ryback last night, and with all this talk, and that him and Cena need to have some action. The crowd chant feed me more, and Cena jokes about it. Cena introduces himself to Henry, the crowd boos. Cena says he's afraid to tell Henry he has the breath of a thousand asses and Cena accepts Henry's challenge.
Newly inducted Hall of Famer and Smackdown GM Booker T comes out and denies them their title match. He says Rock is entitled to a rematch, Cena jokes about the "Once in a Lifetime" tagline. Booker says Rock is #1 contender, the crowd boos and Cena agrees. Booker says Rock is injured and won't be here tonigh, and the crowd starts a loud bullshit chant. Booker tells Henry he'll have to earn his shot, saying he'll have to beat Cena tonight to get it. Henry says he's not laughing, and saying Cena will be entered into the Hall of Pain tonight before his music hits and he exits the ring. An... interesting start to the show.
Still to come, Undertaker is here off his 21st victory from last night. Plus, Alberto del Rio faces Swagger and Zeb Coulter in a handicap match. Up next, Big E makes his Raw in-ring debut.
Back from the break we get more stills from last night ahead of our first match.
Daniel Bryan (w/ Kane) (WWE Tag Team Champions) vs Big E Langston (w/ Mr. Money in the Bank Dolph Ziggler & AJ Lee)
Pre-Match Notes & Thoughts: Cole brings up a Tweet from The Shield about making an impact on tonight's show.
Bryan with kicks in the corner right away only to be shoved by E and a Uranagi. E shoulder first into Bryan in the corner and the crowd chants we want Ziggler. Big E launching Bryan off his shoulder to the mat, then a kick to the midsection. A loud chant for Bryan as E lands right hands into the midsection. Bryan onto E's shoulders, slipping out for a roll up and a near fall. Yes Kicks on E as Bryan goes up top, but AJ distracts the ref and Ziggler crotches Bryan on the top rope. Kane gets Ziggler by the throat, but E throws Bryan over the ropes onto Kane. Ziggler rolls Bryan back in the ring and E hits the Big Ending for the win in 2:20. Not off to a great start with this show tonight.
We go to replays as E co leave the ring. Up next, a rematch for the IC Title.
Back from the break we see the closing moments of the previous night's IC Title match before we go back to the ring.
Intercontinental Championship: Wade Barrett vs The Miz (c)
Pre-Match Notes & Thoughts: Barrett is already in the ring when we come back, which usually isn't a good sign. No love for the Mi here. Cole plugs the newest edition of WWE Magazine with Miz workout routines I guess.
Barrett with offense immediately in the corner, whips Miz into the opposite corner but comes back with a clothesline and a boot to the head. Hook of the leg and a near fall. Suplex by Miz and another near fall, this crowd fully behind Barrett. Wade with right hands and a boot in the corner, then gets whipped into the opposite corner, Miz with a roll up and a near fall.
Miz with a 10 punch in the corner, then a knee to the head for a near fall, into a rear chinlock. Arm wringer by Miz into a right hand by Barrett another boot to the head, then an elbow drop. Hook of the leg and a near fall. Barrett with a chin lock now, Miz fights up but Barrett gets a knee to the midsection and sent outside. Miz with a dropkick through the middle rope and off the apron with an ax handle. Wade face first off the barricade before tossing him in the ring, Miz up top but Barrett moves. Barrett tossed onto the apron but catches Miz through the ropes, nailing a neckbreaker onto the apron before cutting to break.
Back from break and Barrett hits the Winds of Change for a near fall. Miz tossed back out of the ring and nails an elbow off the apron. Miz tossed back in the ring, hook of the leg and a near fall. Another chin lock, Miz fights up with elbows to the midsection and a back suplex. Miz with right hands and kicks as they get back up, Miz off the ropes with a strikes and a boot to the face. Miz gets fired up and goes for his neckbreaker but they botch it up, Miz hooks the leg for a near fall.
Barrett with a shot to the midsection into the corner and Miz with his running clothesline in the corner, up top with another ax handle, hooks the leg and a near fall. Miz goes for the figure 4 but Barrett fights out, only to be planted with a DDT and a near fall. Barrett gets Miz up for the Wasteland but Miz fights out. Miz catches Barrett out of the corner and pulls him to the center and gets the figure 4 locked in. Barrett manages to get to the ropes and force a break.
Barrett back up in the corner and gets the boots up, catching Miz in the face. He goes up top but Miz cuts him off, climbing up top for a superplex, but Barrett fights out. Barrett bounces Miz's face off the ring post and nails the Bullhammer, and despite the jobber entrance, regains the IC Title in 9:43 to a loud pop. Alright, that's better. Fast paced match that was hard to keep up with.
Barrett poses with the title as we go to replays. We cut to the back with Brad Maddox and Vicki Guerrero, who I think are the GMs, which begs the question why Booker was out there earlier. They talk about the success of Mania as Sheamus walks in, pissed about what Show did. He wants a match with Show, saying he'll owe them one if they give him the match. He says he "doesn't give a fiddlers" what they want, because all he wants to do is kick the head off that giant piece of crap. Vicki gives him the match and he walks off.
Still to come, Del Rio vs Swagger and Coulter.
Back from the break, more stills from Mania. We see Booker in the back being congratulated on his induction as he walks through and Orton walks up to congratulate him too. Booker shows off his ring and wants a match with Show tonight, wanting to right a wrong tonight. Booker brings up the match Vicki already made, Orton saying Booker should be able to overrule Vicki, and gives Orton his match.
Zeb and Jack actually got an entrance tonight. Zeb's got a mic, fists taped up, and says their country is in bad shape, worse so after last night. He says he warned the fans about it. There's a "Deport Me" sign in the crowd. Zeb asks the fans for their support, saying he volunteered for the war in Vietnam years ago because he loves his country, and tonight he's gonna stand in the same ring as Swagger for the same reason. He says the country is on the verge of tyranny, anarchy, and when the "filthy" del Rio steps foot on that stage, he wants them all to stand up and chant USA loud and proud, and the fans proceed to start a USA chant before going to break.
Back from break, an ad for Mania 30 and footage from tonight's opening segment. Back to the ring for our next match.
Jack Swagger & Zeb Coulter vs Alberto del Rio (w/ Ricardo Rodriguez) (World Heavyweight Champion)
Pre-Match Notes & Thoughts: Ricardo still out on crutches to make Alberto's introduction. We get stills of last night's WHC match. Crowd with a USA chant as Zeb asked.
Crowd already with a "We Want Ziggler chant". Swagger with right hands in the corner, then Alberto with some, before whipping Swagger chest first into the corner. Soccer kick to the back of Swagger before clotheslining him out of the ring. Del Rio off the ropes with a suicide dive and a jumping stomp to the face of Swagger and another Ziggler chant.
Del Rio with a crossbody off the top back in the ring for a near fall. Zeb clubs Del Rio with a forearm allowing Jack to hit a chop block on Alberto. USA chant starts up as Swagger works the leg. Swagger hooks the leg and a near fall. Shoulders and knees to the midsection in the corner, Coulter raking at the face and more Ziggler chants. Swagger works the leg some more but Del Rio gets some boots to the face before an enziguri in the corner but misses with the bad leg. They both go for Germans but Swagger gets Del Rio in the Patriot Lock, Del Rio tries to roll through but it doesn't work, rolling to the apron and applying an arm bar over the ropes Swagger knocks Del Rio off the apron into the barricade before going to commercial.
Back from break and Swagger hits a back suplex, hook of the leg and a near fall. Swagger hit a chop block during commercial, and Swagger goes back to the leg. but Del Rio fight out. Swagger goes shoulder first into the ring post and gets a series of clotheslines, followed by a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker onto his injured knee. Ricardo gets a "si" chant going before Del Rio hits a super kick for a near fall. Del Rio goes for the Cross Armbreaker but Swagger takes him down and gets the Patriot Lock in again, Del Rio gets to the ropes. Another Ziggler chant before Swagger gets the ankle again, but Del Rio kicks his way out, turning it into the Cross Armbreaker to win in 7:55. Why was this a handicap match exactly? Nothing special here, but not a bad match either.
Del Rio celebrates, barely able to stand as Ricardo, the ref and the doctor check on him in the corner before we go to replays. Ziggler's music hits to one hell of a pop, Jesus christ, cashing in his money in the bank contract. Ricardo and the doc leave as the ref calls for Roberts to announce the title match as official.
World Heavyweight Championship: Dolph Ziggler (w/ AJ Lee & Big E Langston) vs Alberto del Rio (c) (w/ Ricardo Rodriguez)
Ziggler goes right for the leg then a Fame Asser for a near fall. Back after the leg and right hands, crowd eating this up. Ziggler misses a splash in the corner and Del Rio nails an enzigri. Hooks the leg and Ziggler kicks out. Del Rio gets the Cross Armbreaker locked in, but Ziggler twists the bad ankle to escape, hitting the Zig Zag to win the championship in 2:04. The crowd goes mental.
Ziggler and co celebrate, Ziggler poses in the corner with the title as doctors check on Del Rio at ringside, then go to replays. Up next, the Undertaker.
Back from commercial for that familiar gong and Taker makes his way out. We get stills of his match with Punk the night before. Crowd with a loud Undertaker chant, who dedicated his match last night to the memory of Paul Bearer, and not 5 seconds later the Shield's music hits and make their way through the crowd. They surround the ring ready to pounce and climb the apron, but fire hits and out come Team Hell No to even things out, scaring the crap out of the Shield. Fans start a yes chant as we get a staredown, and Shield decide against it, leaving through the crowd.
Still to come, Mark Henry vs John Cena.
Back from the break, more stills from last night's show. Commentary give us replays of Ziggler's title win, then cut to Ziggler and co in the back. Josh Matthews comes up and congratulates him. Ziggler says he's been too good for too long, and knew he just needed the right place and time, saying that this is his Wrestlemania moment. He's gonna take his new title, shine it up and show it off before walking off.
Back to the ring for our next match.
Santino Marella, R-Truth & Zack Ryder vs 3MB (Heath Slater, Jinder Mahal & Drew McIntyre)
Pre-Match Notes & Thoughts: Not a single entrance here.
McIntyre uses a Claymore here as a regular move, which is the most exciting part of this short match. It all goes so fast it's hard to follow. Santino nails The Cobra on Heath to win in 3:29.
They celebrate for about 5 seconds before we see footage from xxess. Then we see Orton and Sheamus mid-argument in the locker room about their matches tonight. Orton admits he was wrong for vouching for show, Sheamus says he's got this and walks off, then commercial.
Back from the break and commentary recap what Big Show did the night before, before we see a post-show interview with Renee Young and Big Show. Show says he didn't turn on Orton and Sheamus, that they turned on him. He says everyone's been worried about being able to trust him, when really they he should've been wondering about trusting them. From the beginning they didn't want show in that match, admits to tagging himself in, getting aggressive, and sacrificing himself in a Hail Mary collision crash, and all he wanted was a chance to get that tag and prove himself. Orton had to take his thunder, no one's taking his thunder, not again. He doesn't want any part of it, and there's only one thing important to the Big Show, himself. Is this supposed to be a heel promo?
Back to the arena and Sheamus comes out for his match.
Sheamus gets a mic and says everyone knows what happened last night by now, and he's out to ask the WWE Universe who wants to see him kick Big Show's ass tonight. He calls out Vicki, but gets Orton instead. Orton gets a mic and says while Sheamus is practically begging for support, Show is his tonight. Orton asks the crowd who wants to see him kick Big Show's ass. Cole tells us that fans will get to choose via Tweets to see who faces Big Show, then we go to commercial.
Back from break, Sheamus and Orton are arguing, then we get the results, Orton winning with 77%. Vickie comes out with Booker T with her shrill voice, and Booker says they both have legitimate reasons to want Big Show. Him and Vickie talked and have come up with a solution: Sheamus vs Randy Orton, with the winner facing Big Show. So, what was the point of the poll?
Sheamus vs Randy Orton
This is one of the few highlights of the show, because this crowd could not give a single fuck about this match and hijack it with an assortment of chants. We get the following chants:
- Ole
- Mike Chioda (the ref for this match)
- Boring
- We Want Big Show/Ziggler
- RVD
- JBL
- Jerry
- Michael Cole (even though JBL quipped earlier they'd never chant for Cole)
- ECW
- The Wave
- Randy Savage
- HBK
- Justin Roberts
- CM Punk
- Colt Cabana
- Y2J
- DDP
Eventually after all that insanity, Sheamus goes for a Brogue Kick but Orton moves and he goes over the ropes, and Big Show's music hits. Show throws Sheamus into the ring post and the crowd thanks Big Show. Show nails Orton with the Knockout Punk to a nice pop. Show pulls Orton out of the ring and whips him into the barricade, then a spear in front of the announce table. Crowd chants that they're awesome before Show throws Orton over the announce table. Show tries to throw the announce chairs into the ring but just barely misses and the crowd chants for him to do it again. Show leaves as we go to replays. Bell was never rung to end the match so I guess no one wins. In all fairness, this match wasn't even that terrible, but I seem to remember Orton/Sheamus being a frequent thing around this time.
Chioda checks on Orton while the crowd starts a Jerry chant. Still to come, John Cena vs Mark Henry.
Back from the break, we see Fandango's appearance on Old School Raw a month earlier, and commentary announce HHH for Smackdown. Commentary give us a replay of Taker's appearance earlier tonight, then onto our next match.
Fandango vs Kofi Kingston
Pre-Match Notes & Thoughts: Fandango's first match on Raw. We get a still from Fandango's entrance the night before, and there's some very faint Fandangoing from the crowd.
Crowd already Fandangoing as the match starts, and I coulda sworn I heard JBL casually mention Brian Gewirtz when talking about Cole's ballroom dancing classes.
This match only lasts a minute when Jericho runs down for interference, giving Fandango the DQ win.
Jericho with right hands and chops and sends Fandango over the ropes to the outside. Fandango into the timekeeper's area before taking the cover off the announce table, Fandango face first off of it then into the steps. Back in the ring, Jericho with a kick to the midsection, right hands, chops in the corner and gets him in the Walls, Fandango tapping out as the ref tries to pull Chris off. Another ref out to pull him off and finally manage to do it. Jericho nails a Codebreaker for the final blow. Chris leaves the ring while we go to replays. Fandango gets a mic while he's announced the winner, and corrects Roberts on the pronounciation of his name. His music hits and the crowd sings along with the mtheme.
Still to come, John Cena vs Mark Henry.
Back from the break and we see several headlines about Mania, then a still of HHH standing tall last night. We see HHH being checked on by a doctor after the show, doc gives him the clear.
We cut to Josh Matthews who introduces Paul Heyman. Josh says it was a disappointing night for Paul Heyman guys, and Paul responds saying that it's nice to see ignorance is still bliss in New Jersey. The way he sees it, his client got knocked out 90 seconds into his match with HHH, but still took him 23 minutes to survive against Brock Lesnar. Paul asks why Josh isn't talking to Michaels, and answers for him saying Shawn got his face smashed in by Brock. He asks why Josh isn't talking to HHH, then answers saying HHH is still getting X-rays and being checked on for his arm, and still can't use thanks to Lesnar. He says Lesnar is ready for a fight tonight, but he doesn't let his client fight for free. He tells Josh to ask him about Punk vs Taker, saying he shouldn't be the one to offer him how Punk feels, Punk should tell him, and Punk will tell him how he feels next week.
Team Rhodes Scholars (Cody Rhodes & Damien Sandow) & The Bella Twins vs Tons of Fun (Brodus Clay & Sweet T) & The Funkadactyls (Cameron & Naomi)
Pre-Match Notes & Thoughts: I forgot all about this match, the one that was supposed to happen at Mania but got bumped off the card.
Naomi hits the Rear View as we come back from commercial and the crowd are Fandangoing again. Naomi with a headscissor on Cody before T cannonballs him in the corner, but misses an elbow drop. Cody with a Disaster Kick and Sandow in. Bellas sandwich T's head between their asses and Sandow hits the Elbow of Disdain for a near fall. Back suplex on Sandow and tags in Brodus, clothesline on Sandow. Headbutt by Brodus then a splash int he corner, followed by a T-Bone suplex. Pin attempt and the Bellas try to pull him off, T sends Cody out, and Tons of Funk sandwich Sandow, before a double splash to get the win in 2:28. What a clusterfuck.
Tons of Funk and the Funkadactyls celebrate and Cole dances like an idiot. Up next, it's the main event.
Back from the break, we get an ad for a mobile game called Rockpocalypse. I have no memory of this and it looks terrible. We get more stills from Mania before our main event.
Mark Henry vs John Cena (WWE Champion)
Pre-Match Notes & Thoughts: Crowd sing along to Henry's theme as he makes his entrance and Cena gets deafening boos.
We get more Fandangoing and "Same Old Shit" chants, and other than that, this match is missable. Cena wins by countout in 3:15 after sending Henry into the steps.
Cena's music hits and gets his hand raised before Henry comes in from behind, hitting Cena with the World's Strongest Slam. Henry raises the championship up before Ryback's music hits and out he comes, right hands back and forth with Henry until Ryback takes him down with a clothesline, then a spinebuster. Henry rolls out and Ryback gets a "Feed Me More" chant going. Ryback helps Cena up to boos as they stare down. More "Feed Me More" chants led by Ryback before nailing a Meahook Clothesline and a Shellshock, to a nice pop from the New Jersey crowd. Ryback raises the title up and stands over Cena to finish the show, crowd chanting "Feed Me More" as the show fades out.
OVERALL THOUGHTS
Aside from the IC Title match, nothing on this show was worth watching, the crowd made it everything. With a runtime of 2:13:47, there was a total of 49:04 of wrestling. Fucking hell, that is abysmal.
FINAL THOUGHTS
An interesting 48 hours in wrestling to say the least. Mania was a better viewing than I had expected, but that Raw admittedly is not as entertaining watching all these years later. Cena would go on to feud with Ryback into Extreme Rules and Payback,then Henry at Money in the Bank (which would give us the fantastic fake retirement), and eventually lose the title to Daniel Bryan at Summerslam, and we all know how that went. Punk leave for about a month and make his return at Payback, beating Jericho and be betrayed by Heyman at Money in the Bank. Rock I don't think would appear again until Wrestlemania 30.
Our opening video package brings up Hurricane Sandy and it's destruction, as well as the rebuilding and footage of the rebuilding and recovery, all narrated by Gov. Chris Christie.
We're live from MetLife Stadium in East Rutherford, New Jersey, not the heart of New York as Cole blurts out. The New Jersey National Guard have come out on the stage waving American flags, before we go to another video package, highlighting past Mania's and tonight's matches. We don't waste much time getting to our first match.
Sheamus, Randy Orton & The Big Show vs The Shield
Pre-Match Notes & Thoughts: Michael Cole, JBL and the King are doing commentary for tonight's show.
Sheamus, Show and Orton manage to keep things together for the most part until Show stops a Shield Bomb with a spear. Sheamus crawls desperately to tag Show but Orton tags himself in and takes care of Ambrose. Orton calls for an RKO on Ambrose, but nails one mid-air on Rollins as he launches off the corner from behind before Reigns nails a spear. Amrose crawls on top while Show looks on doing nothing and Sheamus comes to to get the win in 10:30. Not a bad way to start the show.
We go to replays as Show looks on from the apron and Shield leave through the crowd. As Orton comes to, Show enters the ring and they argue. Sheamus enters and gets a Knockout Punch, then one for Orton. Show leaves to a meh reaction from the crowd and a replay of the punches. Shield still undefeated in their Mania debut. Commentary goes on to hype the main event along with a video package. Sigh, skip.
We see Snooki in the crowd before our next match.
Mark Henry vs Ryback
Pre-Match Notes & Thoughts: We see footage from Smackdown of a Bench Press Challenge where Mark would talk advantage to choke the life out of Ryback with the bar.
Henry and Ryback start by slamming into each other a couple times, then trade some right hands. Crowd is fully behind Henry in this one. Henry wastes no time nailing a running powerslam into a pin attempt by Ryback kicks out. Ryback into the ropes but cuts ff Henry and attempts a suplex, but lifts Ryback to the apron instead, before sending him into the ringpost, then a clothesline sending Ryback to the floor.
Ryback's back in and Henry's on the attakck, forearms to the small of the back and then a bearhug. Ryback tries for the ropes but Henry drives him into the corner.. Ryback sent over the ropes to the outside with a clothesline as the ref starts his count. Ryback just barely gets in for the 10 count and Henry goes after. Ryback tries to fight back but Henry locks in the bearhug again. Ryback manages to fight his way out, only to be scoop slammed and another bearhug.
Ryback gets some right hands and drives Henry into the corner, shoulders into the ribs and a clothesline. then nails the Meathook Clothesline. Ryback tries to lift Henry for the Shellshock but Henry fights out with elbows, falling on top of Ryback. Henry rolls Ryback over to get the win in 8:02. Not a great match and went a bit too long.
We go to replays as Henry goes to leave and doctors check on Ryback. Henry comes back in and scares off the doctors and bullies the ref. Ryback nails a spinebuster and nails the Shellshock, which managed to actually get a pop out of the crowd. We get more replays of what just happened now, and Ryback leads a "Feed Me More" chant.
Commentary plug some weird ass action figures, and announce WWE's partnership with the Special Olympics, followed by a video package. Lilian introduces the members of that year's game and a couple athletes, alongside Stephanie and Chris Christie.
Onto our first title match of the night.
WWE Tag Team Championship: Team Hell No (c) vs Dolph Ziggler (Mr. Money in the Bank) & Big E Langston (w/ AJ Lee)
Pre-Match Notes & Thoughts: Ah the days when Big E still had a last name. We see footage from Raw of Big E taking out Kane and Bryan, powering his way out of a chokeslam from Kane.
Dolph sticks it to Bryan by getting a good luck kiss from AJ, only for Bryan to kick him in the head and go for a pin immediately. He tries to apply the Yes(No?) Lock but Ziggles escapes the ring. Bryan with his kicks on Ziggler int he ring and he desperately tags in Big E. Bryan tags in Kane.
Kane with some right hands and off the ropes but E picks him up, driving Kane back first into his knee.Shoulder charge in the corner, then another but eats a boot from Kane. Kane goes for the chokeslam but E powers out, off the ropes chest first into Kane. Ziggler in now with some offense and a pin, but Kane kicks out.
E back in, keeping the offense with right hands to the guts, Kane off the ropes and catches E with a DDT.. Ziggler tagged in and sends Bryan off the apron. Kane back up with a flurry of offense and a sidewalk slam for a near fall. Kane goes up top and misses a clothesline. Ziggler hits the Fame Asser for a pin, but Bryan breaks it up. Ziggler with a dropkick sends Bryan out then goes up top, but Kane nails a right hand, followed by a cover but E lands a splash. Kane hoisted up for a Big Ending but Kane tosses him out. Bryan off the apron with a knee, and Ziggler nails a Zig Zag on Kane, but Kane kicks out, the crowd way too early counting the pin.
AJ slides Ziggler the briefcase while she distracts the referee, but Kane ducks the shot and nails a big boot. Kane nails the chokeslam and tags in Bryan who climbs to the top rope. Kane knocks E off the apron before Bryan nails the diving headbutt to retain the titles in 6:18. Fairly decent match, but it was obvious they were trying to cram in as much action in what little time they had, felt a bit rushed.
The champs celebrate as Ziggler and E retreat, then go to replays. Bryan gets a yes chant going before him and Kane leave the ring.
Fandango vs Chris Jericho
Pre-Match Notes & Thoughts: The show oddly fades to black after that and goes to a crowd shot, into Fandango's entrance, flanked by several dancers to a lukewarm crowd reaction. To be fair, this was the night before Fandango-ing became a thing. This all started when Jericho purposefully mispronounced his name several times, as the video package shows. We also see Jericho get attacked after a win over Cesaro. Jericho gets a Jericho pop and fireworks as e comes out. Fandango making his in-ring debut in this match.
A nice match, pretty back and forth for the most part, although they sure made no effort to protect Dango's top rope leg drop finisher, since Chris kicked out of it in the closing moments. Fandango goes for the leg drop again but Chris takes him down, hoisting him to the top rope for a superplex but Dango fights out, missing a leg drop. Jericho goes for the lionsault, but Dango gets the knees up, but Chris catches them to go for the Walls. They botch up the inside cradle here, but in the end Dango gets the three in 9:12.
Dango stumbles out and celebrates with his dancer as they head up the ramp and go to replays. Commentary try to cover up the finish saying Chris had tweaked his knee, but it didn't really work. Then we see footage from the pre-show, where Miz beat Wade Barrett for the IC Title with a figure 4.
Another hype package for the main event, then P-Diddy comes out for a performance, then Skylar Grey to join him.
After all that, we get a video package, highlighting Swagger and Zeb Coulter's gimmick to this point. I forgot howw wacky and entertaining this was. Swagger won an Elimination Chamber Match to earn this title shot tonight, setting out to reclaim America with this title win. Del Rio than talks about the Statue of Liberty, saying America is where everything is possible, and he's living proof. He won his title against Big Show on an episode of Smacldown.
World Heavyweight Championship: Alberto del Rio (c) vs Jack Swagger (w/ Zeb Coulter)
Pre-Match Notes & Thoughts: I didn't think jobber entrances were possible at Wrestlemania, and yet after the video package, Zeb and Jack are already in the ring with their music playing. Zeb's got a mic and says him and Swagger are real Americans. He says he walked the filthy streets of New York this past week, and asks when they let "them" take over. He says New York was once described as a beacon of American prosperity, but now it isn't worth the beads they paid for it, calling it a cesspool of criminals, illegals that snuck across the borders, speak Spanish, Italian, Greek and Chinese, and something called Yiddish, as they plot God knows what against them. He tells the crowd they can boo him all they want, but that they know they agree with him, either too afraid to say something or too gutless to do anything about it, unlike real Americans. He says Swagger will reclaim this country as he walks out champion. He says remember the words "We the People" before Ricardo comes out on crutches to introduce Del Rio.
Swagger and Del Rio spend the match setting up for their respective submissions. You know the crowd are into this when they're chanting "We Want Ziggler". In all fairness, it isn't that bad a match. Not the most exciting, but also not horrible. Swagger goes to grapevine the leg while applying the Patriot Lock, but Del Rio turns it into the Cross Armbreaker, then back into the Patrriot Lock and Del Rio gets to the rope.Swagger gets a kick to the head as he tries for the gutwrench. Enziguri in the corner and a pin, but Zeb puts Swagger's foot on the rope. Ricardo comes over but Zeb kicks his crutch out. Del Rio goes after him with a crutch but Swagger gets him from behind, throwing him into the barricade.
Back in the ring, Del Rio locks in the Cross Armbreaker out of nowhere and retains the championship in 10:31.
Zeb looks on pissed with his curly moustache, Del Rio celebrates as the real Americans leave up the ramp, then the replays. We get a glimpse of Michael Strahan in the crowd happy for Del Rio, and everyone else just doesn't care.
We get a video package of WWE's partnership with the National Guard. Justin Roberts gives a special welcome to the armed forces in the building for tonight's show.
Our next video package, from the passing of Paul Bearer to Punk and Heyman's disrespect of him and Taker., even going so far as to spill his "ashes" on Taker, to Bearer Heyman dressing as Bearer with druids lined up the ramp.
CM Punk (w/ Paul Heyman) vs The Undertaker
Pre-Match Notes & Thoughts: Before our match we have a fantastic performance by Living Color to play Punk tot he ring. Heyman with urn in hand.
Punk's time is spent trying to piss Taker of enough for a DQ, or to get Taker counted out, seeing as he doesn't need to pin or submit Taker to end the streak. Taker spends his time dealing out punishment for the week's of disrespect. Early in the match Taker takes apart the Spanish announce table before ramming Punk back first into the ring post. Dueling CM Punk/Undertaker chants as Taker sets up and nails his patented apron leg drop.
Back in the ring with right hands in the corner to the face and midsection, Chioda warning Taker constantly about getting DQ'd while Taker scares him off. Taker goes for Old School but Punk takes him down with an arm drag. Punk now with stomps on Taker's head and chest, and now he goes up top and nails Old School, then a side Russian leg sweep into a cover, and a near all.
Taker fights out of a rest hold and delivers right hands in the corner, whipping Punk into the opposite one, and Taker misses a knee, colliding with the top turnbuckle. Taker rolls outside and Punkgoes up top to nail an ax handle. Back in the ring for a neckbreaker and a cover, for a near fall. Punk works the shoulder before Taker with some right hands, until Punk counters with a swinging neckbreaker and a near fall.
Taker fights his way out of a rear chinlock into a suplex, Punk in the corner nailing a boot on Taker. He goes for Old School again but gets crotched on the top rope, then knocked to the outside Taker off the opposite ropes and Heyman climbs on the apron, Taker goes to chokeslam him but Punk comes off the ropes with a springboard forearm and hooks the leg for 2. Taker up to his feet in the corner as Punk nails the running knee and a clothesline, followed by a top rope elbow drop, hook of the leg and another near fall. Punk goes for the GTS but Taker catches him for a chokeslam, but Punk kicks out of a pin attempt.
Back and forth right hands, Taker knocks Punk down. Right hands in the corner, Punk whipped to the opposite corner and a clothesline, whipped back to the other corner followed with a Snake Eyes, but Punk hits a heel kick as Taker comes off the ropes, followed by another near fall. Dueling Taker/Punk chants as they get up, Punk clotheslining Taker to the outside. Punk finishes clearing off the announce table, then gets caught with a right hand, then a headbutt. Taker goes for a Last Ride, but Punk slips out and nails a kick to the side of the head, sending Taker backwards onto the table. Punk climbs to the top rope and delivers an elbow, bouncing off of Taker as he rolls off the table, not breaking under them.
Punk manages to get back in, but he's clutching at his knee, having collided with the table edge. Taker just barely makes it back in before the 10 count. Punk goes to make a cover but Taker gets him in the Hell's Gate, rolling over to turn it into a roll up for a near fall. Punk applies the Anaconda Vice, Taker goes down and gets counted for a pin, but sits up at two and a half, locking eyes with Punk scaring him shitless. Taker stands them back up and gets Punk by the throat for a chokeslam, but Punk slips out. Punk nails the GTS on Taker, who bounces off the ropes and catches Punk, nailing a tombstone. Taker goes for the pin but Punk kicks out.
Taker and Punk to their knees, trading right hands, back on their feet with more right hands and forearms. Taker sends Punk off the ropes and gets him for a chokeslam. Punk knocks the ref down and Heyman comes up for a distraction, knocking Taker into the corner before clutching the knee. Running knee but Taker catches him, setting up for the Last Ride. Heyman hands Punk the urn and nails Taker in the head as he's lifted up. Punk mocks Taker with his pin but Taker kicks out.
Punk with Taker's throat cut taunt and gets him up for the GTS but Taker fights out, going for a Tombstone, but Punk flips out and goes for the GTS again, only for Taker to slip out and nails the Tombstone to win the match in 22:08, making him 21-0 at Wrestlemania. Easily match of the night.
Taker exits the ring and takes back his urn before we go to replays. Punk and Heyman have left as Taker goes back in the ring to pose as fireworks go off. Taker takes his slow walk to the back with urn in hand, fire spitting up from the stage, Taker raising his arm as for our last shot.
We get an ad for Foley's "For All Mankind" DVD, before we get yet another video package ahead of our main event, and we still have another match before that. We see Michelle Beadle in the crowd, then a video package for our next match. Of course this started when Brock broke HHH's arm on Raw not long after his match with Cena. He'd beat HHH at Summerslam and broke his arm, then would go on to F5 Vince to set HHH off again. HHH would challenge Brock to a match, and Lesnar agrees on the condition that it's No Holds Barred, and that HHH's career be on the line. Wow, this is an odd parallel to this year's Mania.
No Holds Barred Match: Triple H (w/ Shawn Michaels) vs Brock Lesnar (w/ Paul Heyman)
Pre-Match Notes & Thoughts: Shawn gets his own entrance to get things started, and for some reason, Brock and Heyman next instead of HHH. HHH gets a skull entrance set u, and he's clearly burned by dry ice as he goes through. I forgot that happened. Also, there's about 20 minutes that pass between the end bell of the last match, and the start bell of this match.
Right hands back and forth to start this out, Lesnar gets some knees to the midsection before they tumble to the outside. Lesnar whipped into the barricade, face first off the barricade, then the announce table. Right hands into the forehead of Lesnar now, then Brock sends HHH kidney first into the apron. HHH sent over the barricade and Lesnar grabs a chair, following HHH over until he gets clotheslined back over to the floor. Clubbing forearms to the back before going back to the ring, Lesnar with chair in hand.
HHH gets a high knee as Lesnar comes in, and Taker takes the chair out before HHH can get to it. Lesnar thrown back out of the ring and HHH follows, caught with a right hand to the midsection. Lesnar sent face first off the steps, HHH goes to whip him but Lesnar catches him with a belly to belly to the floor. Lesnar launched face first off the announce table now, then suplexed from the floor through the Spanish announce tablee, followed by one of Brock's primal screams. Lesnar with a knee to the midsection, then a belly to belly onto the collapsed announce table, Lesnar laughing as he sits on the floor. Lesnar with another primal scream before dragging HHH across the floor and scaring Michaels off before going back to the ring.
Lesnar with more kicks and right hands in the corner to the head and midsection, HHH sent off the ropes and catches Lesnar with facebuster, but taken down with a clothesline. Lesnar hooks the leg for a near fall. Back in the corner, more shots to the midsection as HHH tries to fight back, whipped into the opposite corner and gets his feet up, only to get another belly to belly. Lesnar hooks the leg again for the near fall.
Lesnar taunts Shawn and although HHH tries to fight out, Lesnar hits a German suplex, hooks the leg again and another near fall. Another German suplex and a cover for a near fall. Back in the corner, HHH gets some kicks in and then some right hands in the corner, goes to whip Lesnar but gets whipped back in the corner, sent over the ropes to the outside. Lesnar follows and gets distracted going after Shawn, and HHH takes advantage with a clothesline. Right hands and a clothesline over into the timekeeper's area.
Lesnar face first off the announce table and HHH grabs a chair, cracking it over Lesnar's back. Back in the ring, HHH goes for a clothesline but Lesnar nails another German with a bridge for a near fall. Shawn gets on the apron only to get knocked off by Lesnar, allowing HHH to nail the spinebuster. HHH goes for the Pedigree but Lesnar gets him up for the F5. HHH grabs the ropes and Shawn comes in to try and hit Sweet Chin Music, only for Lesnar to catch and hit an F5 on Michaels. HHH takes advantage and hits the Pedigree, hooks the leg but Lesnar kicks out.
HHH exits the ring and gets his sledgehammer from under the ring, but Lesnar gets him up and nails the F5, hooks the leg but HHH kicks out. Lesnar has a cut on his bottom lip while HHH rolls out, Lesnar follows. Lesnar now with the chair and cracks HHH across the back with it, then whips him into the steps shoulder first. Lesnar grabs the top half and bounces them off the head of HHH. Lesnar grabs the bottom half now and tosses them into the ring, rolling himself and HHH back in.
Lesnar picks up the steps now and bounces them off the shoulder, then hooks the leg for another near fall. HHH slaps Lesnar as he taunts him, then some right hands, goes for a Pedigree but Lesnar locks in the Kimura. HHH rams Lesnar into the corner to break the hold a moment, but Lesnar locks it back in. Lesnar rammed into the corner again and locks the Kimura in a third time. Lesnar with knees to the midsection and locks it in a fourth time, now perched atop the top rope as he does. HHH pulls out of the corner and breaks it again slamming Lesnar to the mat.
Lesnar runs at HHH in the corner but goes shoulder first into the post, HHH follows with a low blow. HHH pulls Lesnar to the ring post and slams his arm into it. HHH goes and grabs another chair by the timekeeper, sandwiching Lesnar's arm with it and the ring post. Lesnar resting atop the steps in the match and HHH with the chair to the arm again. Now HHH with a Kimura of his own, Brock collapses, Heyman comes in and grabs the chair to break it up, but Shawn intercepts with Sweet Chin Music. Lesnar manages to fight back to his feet and slam HHH back first onto the steps to break the hold. HHH locks it back in, but Lesnar back up and slams HHH down again. HHH again with the Kimura and as Lesnar goes to lift him again, HHH turns it into a DDT onto the steps.
HHH grabs the sledgehammer and nails Brock in the head successfully this time. HHH pulls Brock atop the steps and nails the Pedigree to win the match in 24 minutes. This match wasn't too bad all things considering. It did get a bit repetitive in the first match with Brock's suplexes, but the match managed to pick up.
Shawn enters the ring and helps HHH up as he celebrates and hugs Shawn, and we go to replays. HHH poses atop the steps with the sledgehammer and tells Brock to suck it, posing one more time before leaving the ring with Shawn.
We get a recap of the previous night's Hall of Fame, a class which had Mick Foley, Trish Stratus, Bob Backlund, Booker T, Donald Trump (sigh), and the late Bruno Sammartino. Fink is out to present the 2013 class. They do not like Trump.
We get an ad for Wrestlemania 30 from New Orleans. Justin Roberts announces the attendance record of 80, 676, but they've really only got an attendance of about 68, 900.
Now it's time for the main event. I'm gonna do what I can to keep an open mind, after time has passed, but I'm not counting on much here.
WWE Championship: John Cena vs The Rock (c)
Pre-Match Notes & Thoughts: Cena out without a fancy entrance. Crowd has no love for Cena and Rock gets a nice pop as he comes out. Commentary are oddly silent until the introductions are over.
Well this match still sucks 6 years later. It probably doesn't help Rock gets injured about 15 minutes, in and misses Raw the next night as a result. By this point, we should all know how this ends. Cena wins the title with an AA in 23:59.
We get replays before Rock and Cena shake hands and hugs, before Rock's music hits and Cena leaves. Rock stands there several moments, mouthing thank you to the fans who give him some love. Rock leaves the ring and hugs his family at ringside before heading up the ramp, Cena raises his arm and pyro goes off, and the crowd shits all over it.
OVERALL THOUGHTS
Honestly this show wasn't as bad as I remembered. It probably helps that it's been 6 years after the fact, and everything surrounding the show at the time is gone, but setting aside that main event, the Ryback/Henry match and the botched Jericho/Fandango ending, I enjoyed this show. With a run time of 3:46:44, there was a total of 1:54:40 of bell to bell wrestling. That's almost 2 hours of time filler, main event video packages, entrances and whatever else. Yikes.
With that, let's get to the next night on Raw, shall we?
RAW
We go right to the arena, live from the Izod Center in East Rutherford, New Jersey as commentary introduce us to the show, then we go to stills of the show.... well, the main event, and the crowd craps all over Cena and Rocks embrace at the end.
Of course, Cena is out to start things out, and the reaction isn't fully complete boos to start, until Cena appears on the stage, then the boos become almost deafening. Cole brings up Rock's injuries, Cena with his usual smugness as the crowd boos him on. Cena says it should be everyone's dream to be in the Wrestlemania main event, because when you win it, you get to enjoy everything that comes along with it: the adulation (boooooooooo), the respect (booooooooooo), the cheers (boooooo!!!)... the cheers? (boooooooooo!!!).... the cheers? (boooo!!!). He says they've known each other for ten years, him and the fans. There's an off sync let's go Cena/Cena sucks chant, Cena says they seem angry. More boos. He's upset too, Mania's over, that's why they're upset, but WWE isn't like the day after Christmas, it's the Raw after Mania. It doesn't matter how they feel about him, everybody sitting there... (boring!). He says amazingly, every Raw after every Wrestlemania is more than boring, bringing up Lesnar's return last year and the asskicking he gave Cena (wooo!). He says he's feeling pretty good tonight, there's a volatile crowd and he might do a championship dance tonight (booooooooo). It might have a little shake, or a kick (no! no! no!), or how about a little heel turn (yay). Cena says that like Ric Flair once said, to beat the man, you gotta beat the man (woooo!) and last night, with the world watching, the main event of Wrestlemania, two titans clashed, bodies were on the line and even Rock got hurt, but out of that, a champion rose (boooooo!), so he proudly says the champ is here. Crowd starts a same old shit chant, saying this is exactly what he wanted for a celebration, saying right now is his post-Mania celebration. He's gonna celebrate the only way he knows how, that he's fighting tonight for his title, which the crowd kinda cheers for. He doesn't know who the #1 contender is, he doesn't care if it's Ziggler, Randy Orton, CM Punk, and gets interrupted by Mark Henry.
Mark says the problem with coming out looking for trouble is that trouble might just find you. He says Cena won his match last night, and the crowd start a loud Sexual Chocolate chant, and Cena responds saying they want to have sex with chocolate, then a yes chant. Really? Henry says he destroyed Ryback last night, and with all this talk, and that him and Cena need to have some action. The crowd chant feed me more, and Cena jokes about it. Cena introduces himself to Henry, the crowd boos. Cena says he's afraid to tell Henry he has the breath of a thousand asses and Cena accepts Henry's challenge.
Newly inducted Hall of Famer and Smackdown GM Booker T comes out and denies them their title match. He says Rock is entitled to a rematch, Cena jokes about the "Once in a Lifetime" tagline. Booker says Rock is #1 contender, the crowd boos and Cena agrees. Booker says Rock is injured and won't be here tonigh, and the crowd starts a loud bullshit chant. Booker tells Henry he'll have to earn his shot, saying he'll have to beat Cena tonight to get it. Henry says he's not laughing, and saying Cena will be entered into the Hall of Pain tonight before his music hits and he exits the ring. An... interesting start to the show.
Still to come, Undertaker is here off his 21st victory from last night. Plus, Alberto del Rio faces Swagger and Zeb Coulter in a handicap match. Up next, Big E makes his Raw in-ring debut.
Back from the break we get more stills from last night ahead of our first match.
Daniel Bryan (w/ Kane) (WWE Tag Team Champions) vs Big E Langston (w/ Mr. Money in the Bank Dolph Ziggler & AJ Lee)
Pre-Match Notes & Thoughts: Cole brings up a Tweet from The Shield about making an impact on tonight's show.
Bryan with kicks in the corner right away only to be shoved by E and a Uranagi. E shoulder first into Bryan in the corner and the crowd chants we want Ziggler. Big E launching Bryan off his shoulder to the mat, then a kick to the midsection. A loud chant for Bryan as E lands right hands into the midsection. Bryan onto E's shoulders, slipping out for a roll up and a near fall. Yes Kicks on E as Bryan goes up top, but AJ distracts the ref and Ziggler crotches Bryan on the top rope. Kane gets Ziggler by the throat, but E throws Bryan over the ropes onto Kane. Ziggler rolls Bryan back in the ring and E hits the Big Ending for the win in 2:20. Not off to a great start with this show tonight.
We go to replays as E co leave the ring. Up next, a rematch for the IC Title.
Back from the break we see the closing moments of the previous night's IC Title match before we go back to the ring.
Intercontinental Championship: Wade Barrett vs The Miz (c)
Pre-Match Notes & Thoughts: Barrett is already in the ring when we come back, which usually isn't a good sign. No love for the Mi here. Cole plugs the newest edition of WWE Magazine with Miz workout routines I guess.
Barrett with offense immediately in the corner, whips Miz into the opposite corner but comes back with a clothesline and a boot to the head. Hook of the leg and a near fall. Suplex by Miz and another near fall, this crowd fully behind Barrett. Wade with right hands and a boot in the corner, then gets whipped into the opposite corner, Miz with a roll up and a near fall.
Miz with a 10 punch in the corner, then a knee to the head for a near fall, into a rear chinlock. Arm wringer by Miz into a right hand by Barrett another boot to the head, then an elbow drop. Hook of the leg and a near fall. Barrett with a chin lock now, Miz fights up but Barrett gets a knee to the midsection and sent outside. Miz with a dropkick through the middle rope and off the apron with an ax handle. Wade face first off the barricade before tossing him in the ring, Miz up top but Barrett moves. Barrett tossed onto the apron but catches Miz through the ropes, nailing a neckbreaker onto the apron before cutting to break.
Back from break and Barrett hits the Winds of Change for a near fall. Miz tossed back out of the ring and nails an elbow off the apron. Miz tossed back in the ring, hook of the leg and a near fall. Another chin lock, Miz fights up with elbows to the midsection and a back suplex. Miz with right hands and kicks as they get back up, Miz off the ropes with a strikes and a boot to the face. Miz gets fired up and goes for his neckbreaker but they botch it up, Miz hooks the leg for a near fall.
Barrett with a shot to the midsection into the corner and Miz with his running clothesline in the corner, up top with another ax handle, hooks the leg and a near fall. Miz goes for the figure 4 but Barrett fights out, only to be planted with a DDT and a near fall. Barrett gets Miz up for the Wasteland but Miz fights out. Miz catches Barrett out of the corner and pulls him to the center and gets the figure 4 locked in. Barrett manages to get to the ropes and force a break.
Barrett back up in the corner and gets the boots up, catching Miz in the face. He goes up top but Miz cuts him off, climbing up top for a superplex, but Barrett fights out. Barrett bounces Miz's face off the ring post and nails the Bullhammer, and despite the jobber entrance, regains the IC Title in 9:43 to a loud pop. Alright, that's better. Fast paced match that was hard to keep up with.
Barrett poses with the title as we go to replays. We cut to the back with Brad Maddox and Vicki Guerrero, who I think are the GMs, which begs the question why Booker was out there earlier. They talk about the success of Mania as Sheamus walks in, pissed about what Show did. He wants a match with Show, saying he'll owe them one if they give him the match. He says he "doesn't give a fiddlers" what they want, because all he wants to do is kick the head off that giant piece of crap. Vicki gives him the match and he walks off.
Still to come, Del Rio vs Swagger and Coulter.
Back from the break, more stills from Mania. We see Booker in the back being congratulated on his induction as he walks through and Orton walks up to congratulate him too. Booker shows off his ring and wants a match with Show tonight, wanting to right a wrong tonight. Booker brings up the match Vicki already made, Orton saying Booker should be able to overrule Vicki, and gives Orton his match.
Zeb and Jack actually got an entrance tonight. Zeb's got a mic, fists taped up, and says their country is in bad shape, worse so after last night. He says he warned the fans about it. There's a "Deport Me" sign in the crowd. Zeb asks the fans for their support, saying he volunteered for the war in Vietnam years ago because he loves his country, and tonight he's gonna stand in the same ring as Swagger for the same reason. He says the country is on the verge of tyranny, anarchy, and when the "filthy" del Rio steps foot on that stage, he wants them all to stand up and chant USA loud and proud, and the fans proceed to start a USA chant before going to break.
Back from break, an ad for Mania 30 and footage from tonight's opening segment. Back to the ring for our next match.
Jack Swagger & Zeb Coulter vs Alberto del Rio (w/ Ricardo Rodriguez) (World Heavyweight Champion)
Pre-Match Notes & Thoughts: Ricardo still out on crutches to make Alberto's introduction. We get stills of last night's WHC match. Crowd with a USA chant as Zeb asked.
Crowd already with a "We Want Ziggler chant". Swagger with right hands in the corner, then Alberto with some, before whipping Swagger chest first into the corner. Soccer kick to the back of Swagger before clotheslining him out of the ring. Del Rio off the ropes with a suicide dive and a jumping stomp to the face of Swagger and another Ziggler chant.
Del Rio with a crossbody off the top back in the ring for a near fall. Zeb clubs Del Rio with a forearm allowing Jack to hit a chop block on Alberto. USA chant starts up as Swagger works the leg. Swagger hooks the leg and a near fall. Shoulders and knees to the midsection in the corner, Coulter raking at the face and more Ziggler chants. Swagger works the leg some more but Del Rio gets some boots to the face before an enziguri in the corner but misses with the bad leg. They both go for Germans but Swagger gets Del Rio in the Patriot Lock, Del Rio tries to roll through but it doesn't work, rolling to the apron and applying an arm bar over the ropes Swagger knocks Del Rio off the apron into the barricade before going to commercial.
Back from break and Swagger hits a back suplex, hook of the leg and a near fall. Swagger hit a chop block during commercial, and Swagger goes back to the leg. but Del Rio fight out. Swagger goes shoulder first into the ring post and gets a series of clotheslines, followed by a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker onto his injured knee. Ricardo gets a "si" chant going before Del Rio hits a super kick for a near fall. Del Rio goes for the Cross Armbreaker but Swagger takes him down and gets the Patriot Lock in again, Del Rio gets to the ropes. Another Ziggler chant before Swagger gets the ankle again, but Del Rio kicks his way out, turning it into the Cross Armbreaker to win in 7:55. Why was this a handicap match exactly? Nothing special here, but not a bad match either.
Del Rio celebrates, barely able to stand as Ricardo, the ref and the doctor check on him in the corner before we go to replays. Ziggler's music hits to one hell of a pop, Jesus christ, cashing in his money in the bank contract. Ricardo and the doc leave as the ref calls for Roberts to announce the title match as official.
World Heavyweight Championship: Dolph Ziggler (w/ AJ Lee & Big E Langston) vs Alberto del Rio (c) (w/ Ricardo Rodriguez)
Ziggler goes right for the leg then a Fame Asser for a near fall. Back after the leg and right hands, crowd eating this up. Ziggler misses a splash in the corner and Del Rio nails an enzigri. Hooks the leg and Ziggler kicks out. Del Rio gets the Cross Armbreaker locked in, but Ziggler twists the bad ankle to escape, hitting the Zig Zag to win the championship in 2:04. The crowd goes mental.
Ziggler and co celebrate, Ziggler poses in the corner with the title as doctors check on Del Rio at ringside, then go to replays. Up next, the Undertaker.
Back from commercial for that familiar gong and Taker makes his way out. We get stills of his match with Punk the night before. Crowd with a loud Undertaker chant, who dedicated his match last night to the memory of Paul Bearer, and not 5 seconds later the Shield's music hits and make their way through the crowd. They surround the ring ready to pounce and climb the apron, but fire hits and out come Team Hell No to even things out, scaring the crap out of the Shield. Fans start a yes chant as we get a staredown, and Shield decide against it, leaving through the crowd.
Still to come, Mark Henry vs John Cena.
Back from the break, more stills from last night's show. Commentary give us replays of Ziggler's title win, then cut to Ziggler and co in the back. Josh Matthews comes up and congratulates him. Ziggler says he's been too good for too long, and knew he just needed the right place and time, saying that this is his Wrestlemania moment. He's gonna take his new title, shine it up and show it off before walking off.
Back to the ring for our next match.
Santino Marella, R-Truth & Zack Ryder vs 3MB (Heath Slater, Jinder Mahal & Drew McIntyre)
Pre-Match Notes & Thoughts: Not a single entrance here.
McIntyre uses a Claymore here as a regular move, which is the most exciting part of this short match. It all goes so fast it's hard to follow. Santino nails The Cobra on Heath to win in 3:29.
They celebrate for about 5 seconds before we see footage from xxess. Then we see Orton and Sheamus mid-argument in the locker room about their matches tonight. Orton admits he was wrong for vouching for show, Sheamus says he's got this and walks off, then commercial.
Back from the break and commentary recap what Big Show did the night before, before we see a post-show interview with Renee Young and Big Show. Show says he didn't turn on Orton and Sheamus, that they turned on him. He says everyone's been worried about being able to trust him, when really they he should've been wondering about trusting them. From the beginning they didn't want show in that match, admits to tagging himself in, getting aggressive, and sacrificing himself in a Hail Mary collision crash, and all he wanted was a chance to get that tag and prove himself. Orton had to take his thunder, no one's taking his thunder, not again. He doesn't want any part of it, and there's only one thing important to the Big Show, himself. Is this supposed to be a heel promo?
Back to the arena and Sheamus comes out for his match.
Sheamus gets a mic and says everyone knows what happened last night by now, and he's out to ask the WWE Universe who wants to see him kick Big Show's ass tonight. He calls out Vicki, but gets Orton instead. Orton gets a mic and says while Sheamus is practically begging for support, Show is his tonight. Orton asks the crowd who wants to see him kick Big Show's ass. Cole tells us that fans will get to choose via Tweets to see who faces Big Show, then we go to commercial.
Back from break, Sheamus and Orton are arguing, then we get the results, Orton winning with 77%. Vickie comes out with Booker T with her shrill voice, and Booker says they both have legitimate reasons to want Big Show. Him and Vickie talked and have come up with a solution: Sheamus vs Randy Orton, with the winner facing Big Show. So, what was the point of the poll?
Sheamus vs Randy Orton
This is one of the few highlights of the show, because this crowd could not give a single fuck about this match and hijack it with an assortment of chants. We get the following chants:
- Ole
- Mike Chioda (the ref for this match)
- Boring
- We Want Big Show/Ziggler
- RVD
- JBL
- Jerry
- Michael Cole (even though JBL quipped earlier they'd never chant for Cole)
- ECW
- The Wave
- Randy Savage
- HBK
- Justin Roberts
- CM Punk
- Colt Cabana
- Y2J
- DDP
Eventually after all that insanity, Sheamus goes for a Brogue Kick but Orton moves and he goes over the ropes, and Big Show's music hits. Show throws Sheamus into the ring post and the crowd thanks Big Show. Show nails Orton with the Knockout Punk to a nice pop. Show pulls Orton out of the ring and whips him into the barricade, then a spear in front of the announce table. Crowd chants that they're awesome before Show throws Orton over the announce table. Show tries to throw the announce chairs into the ring but just barely misses and the crowd chants for him to do it again. Show leaves as we go to replays. Bell was never rung to end the match so I guess no one wins. In all fairness, this match wasn't even that terrible, but I seem to remember Orton/Sheamus being a frequent thing around this time.
Chioda checks on Orton while the crowd starts a Jerry chant. Still to come, John Cena vs Mark Henry.
Back from the break, we see Fandango's appearance on Old School Raw a month earlier, and commentary announce HHH for Smackdown. Commentary give us a replay of Taker's appearance earlier tonight, then onto our next match.
Fandango vs Kofi Kingston
Pre-Match Notes & Thoughts: Fandango's first match on Raw. We get a still from Fandango's entrance the night before, and there's some very faint Fandangoing from the crowd.
Crowd already Fandangoing as the match starts, and I coulda sworn I heard JBL casually mention Brian Gewirtz when talking about Cole's ballroom dancing classes.
This match only lasts a minute when Jericho runs down for interference, giving Fandango the DQ win.
Jericho with right hands and chops and sends Fandango over the ropes to the outside. Fandango into the timekeeper's area before taking the cover off the announce table, Fandango face first off of it then into the steps. Back in the ring, Jericho with a kick to the midsection, right hands, chops in the corner and gets him in the Walls, Fandango tapping out as the ref tries to pull Chris off. Another ref out to pull him off and finally manage to do it. Jericho nails a Codebreaker for the final blow. Chris leaves the ring while we go to replays. Fandango gets a mic while he's announced the winner, and corrects Roberts on the pronounciation of his name. His music hits and the crowd sings along with the mtheme.
Still to come, John Cena vs Mark Henry.
Back from the break and we see several headlines about Mania, then a still of HHH standing tall last night. We see HHH being checked on by a doctor after the show, doc gives him the clear.
We cut to Josh Matthews who introduces Paul Heyman. Josh says it was a disappointing night for Paul Heyman guys, and Paul responds saying that it's nice to see ignorance is still bliss in New Jersey. The way he sees it, his client got knocked out 90 seconds into his match with HHH, but still took him 23 minutes to survive against Brock Lesnar. Paul asks why Josh isn't talking to Michaels, and answers for him saying Shawn got his face smashed in by Brock. He asks why Josh isn't talking to HHH, then answers saying HHH is still getting X-rays and being checked on for his arm, and still can't use thanks to Lesnar. He says Lesnar is ready for a fight tonight, but he doesn't let his client fight for free. He tells Josh to ask him about Punk vs Taker, saying he shouldn't be the one to offer him how Punk feels, Punk should tell him, and Punk will tell him how he feels next week.
Team Rhodes Scholars (Cody Rhodes & Damien Sandow) & The Bella Twins vs Tons of Fun (Brodus Clay & Sweet T) & The Funkadactyls (Cameron & Naomi)
Pre-Match Notes & Thoughts: I forgot all about this match, the one that was supposed to happen at Mania but got bumped off the card.
Naomi hits the Rear View as we come back from commercial and the crowd are Fandangoing again. Naomi with a headscissor on Cody before T cannonballs him in the corner, but misses an elbow drop. Cody with a Disaster Kick and Sandow in. Bellas sandwich T's head between their asses and Sandow hits the Elbow of Disdain for a near fall. Back suplex on Sandow and tags in Brodus, clothesline on Sandow. Headbutt by Brodus then a splash int he corner, followed by a T-Bone suplex. Pin attempt and the Bellas try to pull him off, T sends Cody out, and Tons of Funk sandwich Sandow, before a double splash to get the win in 2:28. What a clusterfuck.
Tons of Funk and the Funkadactyls celebrate and Cole dances like an idiot. Up next, it's the main event.
Back from the break, we get an ad for a mobile game called Rockpocalypse. I have no memory of this and it looks terrible. We get more stills from Mania before our main event.
Mark Henry vs John Cena (WWE Champion)
Pre-Match Notes & Thoughts: Crowd sing along to Henry's theme as he makes his entrance and Cena gets deafening boos.
We get more Fandangoing and "Same Old Shit" chants, and other than that, this match is missable. Cena wins by countout in 3:15 after sending Henry into the steps.
Cena's music hits and gets his hand raised before Henry comes in from behind, hitting Cena with the World's Strongest Slam. Henry raises the championship up before Ryback's music hits and out he comes, right hands back and forth with Henry until Ryback takes him down with a clothesline, then a spinebuster. Henry rolls out and Ryback gets a "Feed Me More" chant going. Ryback helps Cena up to boos as they stare down. More "Feed Me More" chants led by Ryback before nailing a Meahook Clothesline and a Shellshock, to a nice pop from the New Jersey crowd. Ryback raises the title up and stands over Cena to finish the show, crowd chanting "Feed Me More" as the show fades out.
OVERALL THOUGHTS
Aside from the IC Title match, nothing on this show was worth watching, the crowd made it everything. With a runtime of 2:13:47, there was a total of 49:04 of wrestling. Fucking hell, that is abysmal.
FINAL THOUGHTS
An interesting 48 hours in wrestling to say the least. Mania was a better viewing than I had expected, but that Raw admittedly is not as entertaining watching all these years later. Cena would go on to feud with Ryback into Extreme Rules and Payback,then Henry at Money in the Bank (which would give us the fantastic fake retirement), and eventually lose the title to Daniel Bryan at Summerslam, and we all know how that went. Punk leave for about a month and make his return at Payback, beating Jericho and be betrayed by Heyman at Money in the Bank. Rock I don't think would appear again until Wrestlemania 30.
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