WWE Raw December 24, 2012 (Christmas Edition)
The show starts with an animated CM Punk struggling to turn on the lights of a Christmas tree, then Cena leading a WWE-themed carol, to the tune of Jingle Bells. This is some corny shit, but I kinda love it. Then animated Cena clobbers Punk to turn on the Christmas lights.
Now we go live to the CONSOL Energy Center in Pittsburgh, PA for the Christmas Edition of Raw. Cole welcomes us to the show before Justin Roberts introduces the night's special guest, Kris Kringle himself, I assume played by Foley, who gets his own entrance and everything. He starts throwing gifts out in the aisle to the fans before walking beside the stage area.
Alberto Del Rio's music hits and out comes Ricardo, and suddenly Del Rio runs over Santa, knocking over a Christmas tree in the process. Del Rio takes forever to get out of the car and actually check on Santa, and finally officials run out to check on him and there's a stretcher. Ricardo looks to be on the verge of crying and Del Rio's upset over it. There's a "You killed Santa" chant. Then we get a replay. Santa eventually gives the thumbs up as he's carted out.
Commercial
We come back and the side of the stage has been turned into a crime scene. Another replay of Santa getting run over.
Cut backstage to several wrestlers and Teddy Long standing outside the trainer's room, and out steps Booker T. He says Santa's down, and it doesn't look good, but they need to pull together and the show must go on, Santa would want it that way. Del Rio arrives and they want his head, and Cena appears out of nowhere. Del Rio tries to defend himself but it just riles them up more. Apparently though Santa's last words before losing consciousness was to make a match for tonight, pitting Del Rio vs Cena in a Miracle on 34th Street Fight. Del Rio leaves, and Booker tells Cena to do it for Santa as does everyone else.
Cody Rhodes vs Kane (WWE Tag Team Champion)
Pre-Match: So this all goes back to a month prior on an episode of Main Event, where Rhodes and Sandow took on Team Hell No. Cody nearly landed on his neck on a back body drop delivered by Kane, but it caused a torn trap, delt, and a separated shoulder in the process. So I guess this is his return to TV.
Cody with a pair of rights before coming off the ropes, only to be caught with a military press. Cody hip tossed from one corner to the other, then to the middle rope, caught and slammed spine first in the corner. Kane with boots and rights, then Cody sent off the ropes, catching Kane with a dropkick to the knee, going after it with more kicks. Then he goes for the arm with an arm lock, then Cody is pushed over the ropes to the floor. Kane gets hung up on the rope rope, then his shoulder is pulled into the middle turnbuckle. Cody caught with a right as he attempts an arm wringer, but catches Kane with a missile dropkick from the middle rope, cover for one.
Cody removes the top turnbuckle before taking it to Kane in the opposite corner. Kane's arm twisted around the top rope before delivering more boots and rights in the corner. Kane fights back, then Cody is sent off the ropes, catches Kane with a kick and twists his arm around the middle rope now. More shots by Cody, then a vicious one by Kane. Armbar take down by Cody, then a short-arm scissor. Kane gets him by the throat and goes for the chokeslam, Cody escapes but eats a big boot. Cody sent to the corner for a clothesline, then across the ring for another, followed by a sidewalk slam, covers for a near fall.
Kane goes up top and connects with the clothesline. Kane goes for the chokeslam again but Cody fights out, off the ropes, connects with the Disaster Kick to the bad arm. Cody starts to remove another turnbuckle, then doesn't, then tries to send Kane into the earlier one only to be countered, and gets sent into it instead. Kane with the chokeslam for the win in 5:55. It was an OK match. Not sure what happened at the end there.
Replay of the finish.
Commercial
Santa's Helper 8-Diva Tag Team Match: Layla, Natalya, Alicia Fox & Kaitlyn vs Eve Torres (WWE Divas Champion), Rosa Mendes, Aksana & Tamina Snuka
Nattie and Aksana start this one. Nattie with a roll up right away for one, into a waistlock. Nattie sent into the corner, goes up and over another roll up with a bridge for two. Alicia tags in and spanks Aksana, who's ent off the ropes, Alicia leapfrogs and Nattie clotheslines, then a dropkick by Alicia. Alicia misses a running boot in the corner before being thrown to the mat by the hair. Tamina tags in with boots and a pair of headbutts. Tamina off the ropes and caught with a dropkick. Layla in with a clothesline and a pair of forearms, sent off the ropes, roll up for two. Layla sent to the corner, gets the boots up, but distracted by Rosa. Samoan drop by Tamina, then a stomp to the back, cover for two.
Rosa tags in. and clotheslines Layla, covers for two. Layla thrown to the mat by the hair, then Rosa with a surfboard stretch, into a modified chinlock. Layla fights out and snapmares Rosa, who jumps on her before she can make a tag. Eve tags in. Elbow drop and shots to the back, then some forearms and a knee, cover for two. She misses an elbow and in tags Kaitlyn. Clotheslines and a spinning back elbow, then Eve off the ropes into a body block, cover and Rosa breaks it up, tossing Kaitlyn out of the ring. Nattie comes in and puts Rosa in the sharpshooter briefly, only to eat a superkick by Tamina. Alicia gets her with a scissor kick, Aksana gets her with a spinebuster, Layla gets her with a crossbody. Eve gets her with a knee, then Kaitlyn with a gutbuster for the win in 5:29. Again, not a bad match, hell it was even given time. The crowd clearly didn't care though, and there were obvious crowd noise piped in, I swear there were 5 times in the match where you hear the same "Ohhhhhhhh!" sound from the crowd.
Also still to come, it's a Lumber-Jack Frost Match between Sheamus and Big Show, and up next, an update on Santa.
Commercial
A plug for the WWE Encyclopedia.
Cut somewhere backstage where the camera pans over a Christmas tree and presents, then over to Ziggler and AJ Lee sat on the floor. She thanks him for watching her favorite Christmas movie with her, and we're not told which one it is, but he figured her for more of a Christmas Carol kind of girl. She explains that she likes it because it's about not living in the past, or worrying about the future, not worrying about the consequences. Camera pans over to the TV, and it turns out to be Ziggler's ladder match with Cena at TLC, where AJ helped Ziggler retain his Money in the Bank briefcase turning on Cena. Ziggler says all they need is a little TLC this holiday season, and she says the best part is Cena never saw it coming, and the most wonderful time of the year. OK that was kind of adorable.
Back to commentary to talk about what happened to Santa, and we see the crime scene and yet another replay. We're also told that representatives from the North Pole have been called and informed of what's happened. We go to Matt Striker who's outside the trainer's room, and all we can see is a heart rate monitor through the crack in the door. There's no official word yet on his condition.
The lumberjacks make their way out, that match next.
Commercial
Lumber-Jack Frosts: Jimmy and Jey Uso, Tyson Kidd, Santino Marella, Brodus Clay, Justin Gabriel, Lord Tensai, Heath Slater, Drew McIntyre, Jinder Mahal, Titus O'Neil & Darren Young
Lock up until Show easily shoves Sheamus to the mat. Another lock up, Show shoved away this time and into the ropes. Show calls for a test of strength but Sheamus stomps his foot instead and applies a headlock. Sheamus sent off the ropes into a shoulder block, then a headbutt sends him to the corner. Show with his loud chops in the corner, then Sheamus sent across the ring, Show misses an elbow in the corner, gets hung up on the top rope as Sheamus goes to the apron, and delivers his 10 Beats of the Bodhran (thankfully he tweeted out some time ago how that's spelled, I never would have figured it out). Then Sheamus up top with a flying shoulder tackle. Sheamus already sets up for the Brogue Kick but Sheamus avoids it and rolls out. Lumberjacks are too scared to even touch him.
Commerial
Sheamus is backed into the corner until he starts to fight back, then off the ropes only to be caught with a shoulder block. During the break, Sheamus was tossed out and he quickly laid out any lumberjacks who tried to touch him. Show with a top wristlock. Show starts singing Rudolph as he's doing this until Sheamus twists his nose. Sheamus tries a scoop slam but Show falls on top to cover for two. Sheamus is tossed back out and 3MB start to attack. Then the other lumberjacks start going at it. Sheamus eventually slips back in as there's chaos at ringside.
Finally things settle down as Show delivers a headbutt. Sheamus with shoulders to the ribs until he's clubbed in the back, then Show delivers a suplex. Sheamus choked over the middle rope, then Tensai delivers a cheap shot. Show with more chops across the chest, then goes to the middle rope for mounted rights, only for Sheamus to lift him up for an electric chair drop. Slug fest from the knees, then Sheamus takes control, off the ropes and caught with a chokeslam. Show covers for a near fall.
Headbutt by Show and Sheamus tries to fight back, but he's clubbed down. Show with his standing leg drop and a cover for another near fall. Sheamus fighting back again, off the ropes but caught with a bearhug. Sheamus fights his way out with forearms and rights, off the ropes, ducks a clothesline and hits a pair of double sledges. Spear in the corner, and another, then off the ropes into a clothesline. Show covers but it only gets two. Show off the ropes and hits an elbow, covers again for two.
Show goes to the middle rope for a Vader Bomb but Sheamus rolls out of the way. Sheamus gets him up and delivers White Noise, makes the cover but it's a near fall. Sheamus goes for the Brogue Kick but it's caught and he's thrown out to the floor. More brawling with the lumberjacks, some attack Sheamus until Tensai rolls him back in. Show goes for the KO Punch but Sheamus ducks and connects with the Brogue Kick for the win in 13:02. This one went a little too long, not a whole lot happened in the middle, beginning and end were alright. Lumberjacks were pretty useless though.
Lumberjacks jump in and either go at it with each other or go after Sheamus. Babyfaces stand tall.
We see some highlights from Tribute to the Troops, an episode of MizTV with Kermit the Frog. There's an exposure joke, then a "Don't ask don't tell" joke. Then Ms. Piggy joins in. Miz pushes them into having a marriage until Sandow comes out, and calls the show an outrage. Ms. Piggy's about to deck him until Miz does it for her.
Still to come, the Street Fight.
Commercial
David Otunga's in the ring with a mic, the only Harvard-educated lawyer in WWE history, which he says makes him uniquely qualified to comment on the Santa situation. He says everyone's being prejudiced for pointing fingers before hearing all the facts, and claims that there's a strong case towards Del Rio being the victim, as he was just fulfilling his contractual obligations as a WWE superstar. That jolly geriatric Santa is meanwhile guilty of trespassing, working without a permit, vehicular vandalism. Zack Ryder interrupts before this goes any further, who uses more than enough words to say they have a match right now.
Zack Ryder vs David Otunga
Otuna with a pair of cheap shots, then Ryder sent off the ropes, ducks a clothesline and hits a forearm, then a clothesline and a dropkick, covers for one. Ryder sent face first in the corner and Otunga steps on his face, then sent into the corner again. Otunga with a pair of clotheslines in the corner, then a neckbreaker and a cover for two. Chinlock by Otunga now. Ryder fights his way out, then he's sent off the ropes into a back elbow. Otunga poses over him, then a pair of clotheslines. Ryder pulled into a clothesline and Otunga covers for two. Ryder counters a neckbreaker with a roll up for two. Ryder sent to the corner for a clothesline, then a shoulder tackle, Otunga covers again for two.
Another chinlock by Otunga. Ryder fights out, sent off the ropes, facebuster to Otunga. Back elbow by Zack, gets his knees up in the corner, to the middle rope with a missile dropkick. Ryder with a forearm in the corner sets up for the Broski Boot, covers but it only gets two. Ryder tries for the Rough Ryder, gets sent into the corner instead, then sidesteps Otunga and connects on the second try for the win in 4:42.
Replay of the finish.
Cut to Booker and Teddy backstage, and they relish in Otunga losing. Then in walks Brad Maddox from behind who tries to be all buddy-buddy with them. Booker wanted to see him, he thinks he's being offered a contract, even though he lost his chance the week before against Brodus. In the spirit of Christmas though he's giving Brad one more chance, and Brad assures him it will be great television. Booker says he just has to beat one of Santa's elves. Maddox leaves skeptical.
Commercial
Plug for the WWE App.
The Miz & Kofi Kingston (WWE Intercontinental Champion) vs Wade Barrett & Antonio Cesaro (WWE United States Champion)
Miz and Cesaro start with Cesaro outwrestling him and slapping the back of his head. Miz sent into the corner off a lock up, then off the ropes with a high knee,. Flapjack by Miz, then off the ropes and a boot to the face, cover for two. Forearm by Cesaro before taking Miz down with a shoulder block, then Wade tags in. Rights to Miz and boots in the corner, then Miz takes control with lefts in the corner. Miz sent across the ring, leaps over Wade and delivers a dropkick, covers for two.
Kofi tags in, goes up top with a double ax to the arm. Kicks to the legs until he's backed into the corner off a waistlock. More kicks and shots, ducks a clothesline and Wade narrowly avoids Trouble in Paradise, rolling out to the floor. Cesaro back in and Kofi's backed into the corner, caught with a spinebuster after missing a shot on Wade. Kofi choked over the bottom rope, then a European uppercut. Wade back in with a snapmare and a surfboard stretch. Kofi fights his way out, off the ropes, catches Wade with a kick, only to be caught with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker, cover but Kofi kicks out. Cesaro back in. Gutwrench suplex and a cover for two. Wristlock by Cesaro. Kofi fights his way out, then sent to the corner and kicks Cesaro in the top of the head.
Miz gets the hot tag and Wade tags back in. Miz with elbows and rights in the corner, then his running clothesline in the corner. Cesaro booted off the apron and Miz goes up top with his double ax handle. Miz goes for Skull Crushing Finale but Cesaro breaks it pup. Miz gets him with the kneeling DDT and Barrett tries for the Wasteland but Miz slips out. Forearm to the back sends Barrett reeling over the middle rope for Trouble in Paradise from the floor, Miz with Skull Crushing Finale for the win in 6:58. A fun match.
Replay of the finish.
Still to come, the Street Fight in the main event. Up next, another update on Santa.
Commercial
First though it's back to AJ and Ziggler. She's gifted him his dented briefcase, symbolic of helping him retain it against Cena. He goes to kiss her but she has one more present, opening her robe, just to reveal a Ziggler shirt. He calls it the sexiest thing he's ever seen.
Yet another replay of Santa getting run over and being stretchered to the back. Back to Striker outside the trainer's room, the heart rate monitor still beeping. No updates.
Out comes Brad Maddox with a mic to sing Brad Maddox is Coming to Raw. His match next.
Commercial
Brad Maddox vs The Great Khali (w/ Hornswoggle)
Maddox earns a contract if he wins.
Maddox wants to face Swoggle but he isn't getting it. Maddox slaps Khali and gets a chop to the head. Maddox face first in the corner, then Khali with a chop to the chest, then another. Maddo tries a club to the chest but he's chopped out of the ring. Swoggle drops his ass on Maddox's chest. Khali tries to go over the ropes but he's hung up and Maddox works the knee with elbows, twisting it around his own knee. Another chop and Khali breaks free. Maddox with a dropkick on a seated Khali. Maddox poses. Khali shoves him into the corner, then he goes to the middle rope only to be chopped in the chest midair. Clotheslines by Khali, then a chokebomb for the win in 3:12.
Replay of the finish. Swoggle and Khali wish Santa gets well soon. Then Khali sings.... something?
Punk is walking on crutches backstage with Heyman at his side, they're up next.
Commercial
Out come Punk and Heyman, currently the WWE Champion. Punk is set to defend against Ryback on the first Raw of 2013 in Tampa. Punk gets a mic. Punk mocks Khali and takes a shot at Pittsburgh in the process, Onto serious business now, he says Christmas is ruined, and there's a Steelers chant, and Punk says he's not even dumb enough to cheer for a bunch of losers like the Cubs, much like the loser Steelers. Back to his point, he says it's not his fault and he's not talking about Santa, he means that their WWE Champion and undisputed Best in the World is injured to the point where he can't compete on this show. He suggest they boo for the man responsible, Ryback, who tore his knee to the point he needed emergency surgery and he can't walk without crutches. Ryback has also ruined Hanukah for all the little mutants, and instead of firing or suspending him, or fine him an obscene amount of money, he gets rewarded with a WWE Title match. He continues to deny that he was in cahoots with Maddox at Hell in a Cell, or the Shield at Survivor Series and it hasn't been proven, because there is no proof. Punk is in a bad mood with rehab and he sees that the fans' holidays are filled with their slovenly, toothless, drunken selves crawling from bar to bar, to possibly find someone who's either as drunk or dumb enough, or blind to be able to kiss their disgusting lips come midnight on New Year's Eve.
Heyman takes the mic and takes offense to the fans booing Punk, says he's been their reigning, defending, WWE Champion for 400 consecutive days now and for each one of those days he's been the victim of a documented conspiracy in WWE to take the title away from him. He uses Ryback as proof, he's been given two chances to take the title away and both times Ryback failed. Punk takes the mic back and talks to Ryback, says he was better than him on two legs, one leg, on crutches, and even with an amputated leg, one arm, one eye he's still better than Ryback.
Speaking of Ryback, out he comes. Punk keeps him at bay with a crutch while Heyman takes the mic and says if Ryback lays a finger on Punk they'll sue him for assault. Ryback has his own mic and says he doesn't have to because he's already gotten his Christmas present. He says Punk should be physically able in two weeks, and he announces that their match will now be a TLC Match, like it was originally supposed to be. Ryback gets a TLC chant going and his music hits as Heyman and Punk leave. I forgot how great Punk was on the mic.
Still to come, the Street Fight.
Commercial
Daniel Bryan (WWE Tag Team Champion) vs Damian Sandow
We have a Silence/No off between Sandow and Bryan with Bryan getting the better. Sandow tries to get a shot in but Bryan catches him, tries for the No Lock but Sandow avoids it and rolls out of the ring. Bryan knocks him to the floor with a baseball slide, then a knee to the face off the apron. Back in the ring, running dropkick in the corner by Bryan and a cover for one.
Sandow takes control with some headbutts, then some shoulder rams in the corner, then sent across the ring, backflips over Sandow, off the ropes with a forearm. No Kicks from Bryan, but misses a roundhouse, Sandow with a roll up for two. Sandow avoids another No Lock and sends Bryan out to the apron, bouncing his head off the post and knocking him to the floor. Bryan face first off the apron, then again on the other side before returning to the ring, Sandow covers for two. Bryan sent to the corner and a snap suplex by Sandow, floats over for two.
Chinlock by Sandow. Bryan fights out and to his feet, only to be tripped up and Sandow stomps away, before bowing. Side Russian leg sweep and the Cubito Aequet, or Elbow of Disdain. Bryan set on the top rope, he blocks a superplex attempt and headbutts Sandow to the mat, before missing a flying headbutt. Sandow tries to follow with a neckbreaker but Bryan counters with the No Lock for the win in 5:39. Another good match on this show.
Up next, a 12-man tag featuring the lumberjacks from earlier.
Commercial
Back from break, most of the competitors are already in the ring, and Brodus is mid-entrance for our next match.
12 Days of Christmas 12-Man Tag Team Match: Brodus Clay (w/ Cameron & Naomi), Tyson Kidd, Justin Gabriel, The Usos & Santino Marella vs Prime Time Players, Lord Tensai & 3MB
Darren Young and Brodus start the match. Brodus easily shoves him down, then hits a shoulder block. Darren sent into the corner for an elbow and in tags Tyson, who goes up top and attacks the arm. Tyson caught with a hammerlock, stepping in and out of the ropes to counter with one of his own then mocks Titus. Hip toss and a dropkick before tagging in Gabriel. Tyson caught with a double snapmare and kicks to the back, covers for two.
Tyson caught with an uppercut and Tensai tags in, misses a clothesline but connects with a right. Butterfly suplex and a cover for two. Gabriel ducks another clothesline, connects with kicks and an enziguri. Santino tags in but dropped with a right, and Jinder makes the tag. Santino sent off the ropes and tripped up, then a leaping elbow and a cover for two. Rear chinlock by Jinder only to be countered with a back suplex.
One of the Usos and Drew tag in. Uppercut to Drew, who sends the Uso into the corner, tries to go up and over but caught with a kick. Titus tags in and he and Drew stomp away. Double underhook facebuster off the knee and a clothesline by Titus and Tensai is back in. Uso turned inside out with a shoulder block and Titus tags back in, choking the Uso in the corner. Uso gets the boots up in the corner as Titus charges.
The other Uso gets the hot tag and in comes Heath. Headbutt and clothesline, then a kick to the ribs, Heath sent off the ropes into a full nelson bomb. Hip attack in the corner by the Uso, cover, but the rest of 3MB break it up. Tyson and Gabriel toss them out and hit crossbodies. Back in the ring, Uso sent to the corner and Slater coms off the ropes with a neckbreaker, makes the cover but Brodus breaks it up. Brodus knocks Darren out of the ring, then Titus as they try to get involved. Tensai drops him with a right hand, then Santino gets him with the Cobra. Slater gets him with an impaler DDT, then an Uso gets him with a superkick. Gabriel tags in, springboard moonsault, then springboard elbow by Tyson. An Uso tags in and goes up top with the splash for the win in 6:15. Not much to say here, it was a fun match for the most part.
Replay of the finishing sequence.
Still to come, the Street Fight. Up next, another update on Santa.
Commercial
First though, we catch up with Kane and Bryan, and Bryan could not be more excited to open presents the next day. Kane hates Christmas, but since it means a lot to Bryan he did get him a present, it's a Slammy. Bryan is happy and got Kane something too, a puppy. Kane is excited so he can eat it and it gets a no chant going, before Bryan takes it back and leaves.
Back to AJ and Ziggler, and AJ is reading her version of the Night Before Christmas, about how she screwed Cena, threw in a fat joke at Vickie, and Ziggler was better than any of her exes. Then they get under a mistletoe and make out, falling into the Christmas tree behind them.
Back to Striker who informs us Santa's taken a turn for the worse and is being prepped to be taken to a medical facility. Then his heart rate monitor starts to play Jingle Bells and his feet start moving.
Cena makes his way out for the main event, next.
Commercial
Pre-Match: Ricardo comes out to announce Del Rio but he's in tears and can barely get his name out.
They argue and Cena points fingers then lays into Alberto. Mounted rights in the corner by Cena, then tosses Alberto out to the floor. Cena is whipped shoulder first into the ring steps and Del Rio kicks him in the back a few times. Back in the ring, cover by Del Rio for two. Del Rio calls on Ricardo to get him a mic and screams it was an accident before nailing Cena in the head with the mic a few times. Then he says something in Spanish and Cena blocks another mic shot, screams Santa into the mic and nails Del Rio with it.
Cena finds a gift at ringside and finds a chair inside, nailing Del Rio in the ribs, then the back, covers, then Ricardo pulls the ref out. Cena chases Ricardo around and back in the ring, running right into a clothesline from Del Rio, stomping away at Cena. Ricardo hands Del Rio a gift and finds a pie, ends up nailing Ricardo by accident as Cena ducks. Del Rio sent into the corner and Cena hits the running bulldog before tossing Del Rio out to the floor. Del Rio into the guard rail in the aisle as they make their way up the ramp. Cena opens up another gift and finds a television monitor, nailing Del Rio right in the head with it.
Commercial
Del Rio has since taken control and Ricardo has joined him and Cena on the stage. Del Rio opens another gift an we see that Ricardo provided a distraction during the break, Ricardo nailing a kick to the back to take control. In the gift he finds a teddy bear. Cena looks on dumbfounded as Del Rio throws it at him. Cena throws him into the LED board, then traps Ricardo in a wreath and smashes a gift over his head. Del Rio takes control with kicks and a box shot as they fight their way back to the ring. He goes face first off the apron, then sent into the barricade. Cena goes back to the stage to open a gift, but there's a "use a tree" chant so he grabs the small one there and nails Del Rio in the head with it. Cena goes back to the gifts and finds a bowling ball inside. Cena rolls it down the ramp and it nails Del Rio right in the balls as he sits up.
Cena finds another gift at ringside and finds a fire extinguisher, spraying it in Del Rio's face as they return to the ring. Ricardo returns and jumps on Cena's back, applies a sleeper and Cena passes out. Now out comes Santa with a bag of toys. Ricardo is overjoyed but he gets nailed in the head with the bag. Santa pulls out a Santa Socko and gives the mandible claw to Del Rio, sending him back into an AA for the win in 11:18. I didn't think I'd enjoy that nearly as much as I did.
Replay of the abuse Del Rio and Ricardo took during the match in the closing moments. Santa joins in the celebration to end the show.
FINAL THOUGHTS
OK this show wasn't nearly as bad as I expected it to be. The whole thing about Santa getting run over was dumb, but there were good matches for the most part, given enough time, and Punk cut a great promo. And as goofy as the main event was, I kind of enjoyed it.
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